Cheeseburger v/s Cheese and Bread

Hubby always says that when we had two kiddos, we can play "man to man defense".....with three kiddos we have to play "zone defense".  Well, with three #s and only one parent during the day, you have to just give up playing defense and play their game....which is what happened many, many times today. 

I'm not saying it was a bad day, but I am saying that one day, I will be able to take a shower without a certain #3 coming into the bathroom and deciding that he needs to poop....and then he wants me to wipe him.  I know I'll miss that one day.....no, I don't think that I'll actually miss poop.  Call me crazy...and I may be wrong....but I've never really been interested in poop. 

And then he wants to talk.  I mean, I'm washing my face, shaving and lathering my hair and this kid wants to have a conversation about anything and everything....
Dinosaurs
Why poop smells
How exactly food turns into poop
What do dinosaurs look like when they poop
Does their poop smell
......and that's just today's conversations. 

After a few appointments today, I took the kiddos to McDonald's.  Now.....I hate McDonald's (sorry)....I am sick almost every time after eating it and we just don't go there.  We had to go on our vacation cuz it's the only thing that looked clean (now what is THAT saying) and we went today because we had a gift card.....
Drive-Thru Lady:  (hands items)  Thank you.
Me:  Thanks
(I then search to make sure that #3's bread and cheese has nothing else on it.)
Drive-Thru Lady:  YES!?!?!?!
Me:  This is supposed to be bread and cheese.
Drive-Thru Lady:  Ummm...that IS what it is.
Me:  No, it's not.  It's a cheeseburger.
Drive-Thur Lady:  That's what bread and cheese is.
(At this point, I'm like "really" and the #'s are now being very, very quiet.)
Me:  No.....a cheeseburger has a burger, cheese, bread, and all the other stuff you put on it.  A bread and cheese is just bread and cheese.
Drive-Thru Lady:  (huge sigh and eye roll) Ugh.  You'll have to pull around.
Me:  Thank you.
....about four minutes later, another lady come out with a huge bag of food....
Lady:  Here's your meal.
Me:  No, we are just missing a bread and cheese.
Lady:  You mean a cheeseburger?
#'s:  NO....A BREAD AND CHEESE!!!!!
Me:  Just bread with a slice of cheese....no meat, no nothing.
Lady:  I'll be right back.
...and she was...and the order was right.

Now, I know that ordering a grilled cheese, bread and cheese, cheeseburger without the burger, is difficult when you don't have that on the menu....BUT SERIOUSLY!?!??!?!  And these aren't teens we are dealing with....these are adults....adults that I'm sure had a kid or knew a child that only liked cheese and bread.....CHEESE AND BREAD PEOPLE!!!!!!

After that fiasco, we ran a few more errands, saw Hubby at work and then headed home.  This is where the #'s get very frustrated and ask "what are we doing when we get home".  Some answers include:
Nap
Cleaning
Eating (but they've already done that)
Playing
or the dreaded "turns"

"Turns" is what we call in our house when each # gets to pick what all of them do and they have anywhere from 20-30 minutes to play that and then it goes to the next #.  #1 can't stand this....I don't understand why....because he's always laughing and having a great time while we have "turns".  Anyhoo...."turns" started a few years ago when all three of them wanted to do three different things, but I needed them to be together....this could be because I needed to return a phone call or do some work or had to pay bills or something.  The one who has been the best all day gets to choose if they go first or last (but they don't know that)....and then I use the timer on my phone.  By the end of the timer, nobody complains about the next person that gets their "turn" and usually the "turns" continue another round because they're having so much fun.  And when it's their "turn", they get to choose anything....ball, board games, toys, etc.  I added video games as a choice this year when #1 started getting mad about taking "turns".

So.....on the way home....I said "turns".
#1:  NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
#2:  I PICK BASKETBALL OUTSIDE!!!!
#3:  Okay. 

#2 LOVES "turns" and always picks something outside and #1 always complains about it.  Yes, it's forced outside time and forced togetherness, but it works....and I had medical paperwork that I had to fill out. 

#2:  We're going to play basketball.....
...and then he proceeds to go over these rules in basketball that he wants #1 and #3 to play by.....
#2:  And then if you don't want to be called on a walk, you have to throw the basketball to the tree and hit the tree.
Me:  Wait.  What?
#2:  If you don't want to be called on a walk, you have to throw the basketball to the tree and hit the tree.
Me:  That's not a rule in the NBA.  I've never seen a tree in the NBA.  When did shrubbery become part of basketball?
#2:  It didn't, but I added it.   So who do you want me to do jump ball with?
Me:  The tree.
#2:  Come on Mom.
Me:  Seriously, I would like to see you play with a tree.
#2:  Okay fine....there is no tree rule in basketball.
......we laughed about this all the way home.  Why in the world this would be a rule in his basketball game is beyond me, but it made us all laugh! 

They did their "turns" today and had a great time.  They played basketball (no trees were harmed during their game) and only fought about every other shot, walk, run, point, etc.  Then they played toys where our cat, Coconut, bit #2 on the head. 

During our Coconut drama....
#2:  I want to find her a new home!
#1:  Please don't get rid of her!
#3:  MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY......COCONUT BIT #2!!!!!
....really this is #1's cat.  Coconut absolutely LOVES #1.  She sleeps with him, purrs when she's with him and will sit in #1's lap for hours.  The other two #s don't like her.....I'm guessing the biting is part of that reason.  Okay, it's the only reason.  They just don't like her. 

After "let's find the remote that we've lost for the 15th bazillion time" game, Hubby came home and made dinner.  Yes friends, he works all day and cooks for his family....otherwise it would be pop tarts (and the off brands at that) and oatmeal.

I love dinner time cuz we all sit together....I mean, all five of us sit around a table and eat our meal at the same time while having a conversation.  Mind Blowing.  By the end of our meal, there was screaming, laughing and #3 was, for some reason, on my shoulders.  Our dinners aren't "normal", but we're together....and I love that.  It makes my heart very happy in our life by numbers!