Goodbye Shoes...I'm Gonna Miss You....

I am hard on shoes...REALLY hard on shoes.  All day long, I'm on my feet...dancing, walking, exercising, moving around.  I'm also in different kinds of weather...hot, rainy, snowy, cold...all this not only in every day wear, but also while doing car rider duty (so truly in Kentucky all this weather could happen in the 30 minutes that I'm outside helping kiddos get in the car).

Next thing...I'm really cheap.  I don't like to spend money on shoes.  I mean, they go on my feet.  I walk on these shoes all day long.  Yes...I KNOW that I should have a great pair of shoes so I won't have back trouble, but I just can't seeing paying so much for shoes.  Hubby has a total difference of opinion.  He worked in a boot store in Nashville all through college and thinks that shoes should be fitted properly and should be changed at the first sign of any problems.

Back to my shoes...
I've had these babies for two years.  They have gone through so much...concerts, sports games, church, teaching elementary music, exercising, funerals, weddings, traveling...you name it, these shoes have been with me.  Holes don't bother me...but one day out in car rider duty it was cold...and rainy...and when I took off my shoes, my socks were soaked.  It's like a little piece of me was dying.

I know you think I'm nuts...and I am...but I love these shoes!  I got them at a great deal (remember, I'm cheap) and they remind me of my childhood when Keds were actually a brand people knew.  I love the pattern because it could truly go with anything...and I wore them with EVERYTHING.  They are comfortable...they let my feet move when I was dancing with my kiddos.  They kept up with me while I worked.  They are part of my wardrobe...like...the main part.

So we went to Opry Mills with some close friends yesterday and there was the Converse store.  I've never owned a pair of Converse.  I'm not big on name brands (remember, I was wearing Keds).  There was a sale...a 40% off sale...so Hubby coaxed me into entering the store...he even kept the kiddos out of the store so I could look.

I walked straight towards the back...that's where the sale was going on.  I looked at the entire wall of shoes.  They were beautiful!  Red one, gold ones, lace ones, colorful ones, apple ones, zip up ones, ones with lifts...it was a never ending wall of amazing shoes...and at 40% off!  It was amazing!

And then I stopped.  I turned around and walked out of the store.  Hubby looked at me...
Hubby:  Did you find something you liked?

Me:  Yes.

Hubby:  Well...why didn't you get it?  

Me:  They're just shoes.  And the price is still really high.  Maybe I'll come back later.  
...and so we went on our way with our friends.  We had a great time playing games, eating dinner...and then it was time.  It was "shop or go home".  We decided to shop.  We went to the Converse store.  Feet sweating, heart racing....I went to the back of the store again...this time with my family.

As I went through the shoes with my eyes, I picked up a pair.  They were beautiful...and high tops...and still expensive....

Salesperson:  Those are a great pair of shoes.  They have a Nike insole and are one of our best product...I don't know why those are 40% off.  

Me:  Yes, but still with 40%, that's a high price. 

Salesperson:  No honey...it's 40% off that orange sticker.

Me:  So you mean I won't even pay $40 for these shoes?

Salesperson:  Ummmm....yeah.  

Hubby:  You should get two pair!  



I sat and picked up the shoe out of the box.  And then my old faithful shoes started talking to me...

Old Faithful Shoes:  What are you doing?  We've been through so much.

My Feet:  You have holes in you.  

Old Faithful Shoes:  That helps you breath better. 

My Feet:  And the rain?  I mean, seriously. 

Old Faithful Shoes:  Think of it as cleansing your feet.


My Feet:  Seriously...you need to be thrown away.  You've got holes in you heels and your sides.  You've been a great pair of shoes, but I need something better.  People are going to start talking about her...that she can't afford shoes.  You don't want that, do you?

Old Faithful Shoes:  No...I love her.  We've been through so much.  

My Feet:  I know...and we appreciate you...we love you...but it's time.  It's time to let her go.  It's time to let her get a pair of shoes that are new...that fit...she needs that new shoe smell.  

Old Faithful Shoes:  I'm going to miss you all.  I'm going to miss the concerts every winter.  I'm going to miss running on her treadmill.  I'm going to miss making sure all the kiddos get in their car and go home after school each day.  But yes, it's time to go.  I love you...

And we came home with a new pair of shoes.  This afternoon when we were getting our shoes on to leave, I hesitated.
Me:  Maybe I should wait to wear these until Tuesday.

Hubby:  No...wear your new shoes.
I took the Converse shoe box out of the bag and pulled out the shoes.  I felt the sides and checked them one more time for holes.

...I gently placed my old faithful shoes in the Converse shoe box and into the Converse bag.  I placed the bag on the counter that the trash can sits under.  I turn away and then turn back one more time to see the bag.  Was this a good idea?  What if these new ones hurt my feet?  What happens if I don't move like I did before?  I mean, I'm 39 years old, I can't lose any moves I've had with my old faithful shoes.

I remember how excited #2 was when he received his new shoes for Christmas...
#2:  I will be able to run faster!  I'll be able to hit the goal each time!  I'm gonna be better with these shoes!

...so I decided to try it out...maybe I'll dance better...maybe move faster...maybe I'll be a better teacher with these shoes in Our Life By Numbers!

Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017

As I listen to others talk about 2016, I see that people struggled...families were torn apart, friends got mad at one another, jobs were lost, children made bad choices, sickness happened, loved ones died...I see life just stunk for some people...and I'm sorry.  I truly am sorry.  I've had those years where I wish we could fast forward through the entire year and never speak of it again.  Years were you looked back at it and ask yourself "how in the world did I make it".

We've had job lose.

We've had fertility issues.

We've had deaths.

We've had our children make bad choices.

We've had cancer.

We've had family members that we want to punch in the stomach.

We've had friends that we want to say "WHAT IN THE WORLD".

We've had bad years...did you notice that I said yearS...not singular...we've had bad YEARS!  Being a human/Christian/man/woman/old/young/black/white doesn't make us prone to more bad things or less...it makes us...relatable.  And yes, it stinks.  Alright, it downright sucks.  There are times I don't want to be relatable.  There are times that I don't want to use a family issue as part of my testimony.  There are times I've told God "hey...you've got a lot more faith in me than I do, so stop it".  I've gotten frustrated...heck, I've sat in the den and yelled at God...and also my family.  When I look back on the stuff we've gone through, I see a silver lining in each of them...though hindsight is 20/20 and so badly I wish I had seen that silver lining during the entire issue that we were going through.  I also see how incredibly bad I've dealt with things in the past...and I see how tense I was am...and how anxious I could be am...and how I don't always learn the lesson until way later...sometimes much later...

And I'm sure someone will say "what about the politics in 2016"?  I mean, if your person won, you're on cloud nine. If your person lost, you think the world is coming to an end.  Either way, surely you can look at 2017 as a fresh, new start?  And if not, it's going to be a rough year for you and it hasn't even started...not really a way I would want to start.  I mean, let's at least let the people who were elected do something stupid before you name them as losers...and looking back, I'm pretty sure I could come up with a thing or two about anybody in politics that did something I disagree with educationally, financially, spiritually, physically, mentally...

So why did I write this?  Is this another "let's start off the new year right" blog?  Well, yes...but for me.  Maybe I need to be accountable and this is the best way for me to do it...let everybody know so they can ask how it's going...or tell me that I'm not really following what I wanted to do.  Maybe I just need to see in writing what I want to do...need to do...have to do...in 2017.

I'm not saying that 2017 is going to be a bed of roses.  I know that there will be deaths and there will be heartbreaks.  There will be times I want to scream and there will be times that I will give the death stare to my children that will dare them to try whatever they are doing one more time.  I will be frustrated.  I will be scared.  I will have to make decisions with Hubby that could change our entire lives.  Nobody said that life is easy.

So what do I want to do in 2017?  Well, here's my list...I'm sure there will be more added to it.  I'm sure I will fail at some of these.  I'm hoping I succeed at some.  I will make mistakes.  I will take steps back.  There are things on here that I know I won't be able to guarantee, but I want to start off with 2017 being a positive year for our family....

1.  I want to put God first.  I want to think about how God wants me to do things.  I want to take a step back and think and pray before making decisions.  I want God first...in everything.  I want to continue reading my Bible and writing in my prayer/praise journal, but I want to dig deeper into it.  I want to melt on the words that God has given me and use them in my life.

2.  I want to be the best wife for Hubby.  I want to support him in his decisions and career.  I want to be the one he confides in and laughs with.  I want him to know that I appreciate what he does for me and our family.  I want to be his best friend!

3.  I want to be the mom that takes care of her children and is a good example.  I want to help them in life, but don't do everything for them.  I want to strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman...though that's a lot of expectations and I can already tell you, I won't live up to that one...but I can strive to be like her.  ;)

4.  I want to be the teacher that shows Jesus in all of my actions and words.  I want my class to be fun, creative, educational, and different.

5.  I want to teach the kiddos at Crossland Morgantown about having a relationship with Jesus.  I want to build relationships with their parents so we can be a force to reckon with when it comes to sharing the news about Jesus in Morgantown.

6.  I want to listen to the guiding of God...cuz there's a lot of talking that goes on in our relationship and it's mostly me doing it.

7.  I want to be healthy...not to be a model (cuz let's face it, I'm not), but to keep up with all the things we do in life and help with my heart and blood pressure.  So I'm going to continue my smoothies for breakfast and salads for lunch...but now I need to get back to exercising.

8.  I want to write a book.  Is that gonna happen?  No.  But I've always wanted to write a book about being a mom and what's another year of putting it on my "to do" list...

9.  I want to use less hand sanitizer...maybe hug more...okay, let's not push it.  I'm pretty sure that less hand sanitizer is more of a goal I can meet.

10.  I want to worry less about money and get out of debt.  We've made stupid decisions in our life and we're still paying them off (and then I had to add graduate school to that).  I would love for someone to just leave me some money in unmarked bills and let me pay off things...but since that isn't going to happen, I hope that Hubby and I work our plan this year and really focus on getting out of debt.

11.  On the flip side, I want to take the family on vacation.

12.  I want to learn how to cook.  Let's not kid ourselves.

13.  I wanna be more open when I need help.  Yeah...that's probably not going to happen either.

14.  I want to clean out the garage and be able to park in it.

15.  I want to be able to use the remotes ANY time that I sit on the couch to watch TV without yelling at the remotes.

16.  I want to make sure that we have nights when it's just the five of us...and we have nothing to do.

17.  I want to not yank out my teenager's smart aleck tongue...this one is iffy on the hopes of succeeding.

18.  I want to evolve a MagiKarp on Pokemon Go.

19.  I want to pick up my prescriptions on time at the pharmacy...because I know they are sick of me waiting the 10 days and then re-shelving it only for me to come on day 11 needing it.

20.  I want to wipe the ceiling fans and vacuum the stairs more than I do...trust me, it's embarrassing.

21.  I want to find something that will build someone up and help them in life.

So...there it is.  I'm sure there are a million other things I need to do, but these are my top ones.  I can already look at this list and realize that if I was basing my entire 2017 on these, then it's going to be a rough year...but I'm going to do the best I can.  I'm going to try to let things roll...as a friend keeps telling me, I'm going to start bending like a pretzel.  I know I'll see crumbs...and I might even break into pieces, but I'm going to be the best pretzel I can be in Our Life By Numbers!