Once-In-A-Lifetime-Experience

Let me start with how much I appreciate my parents and the Christian education they gave me. (Already, I can see my mom rolling her eyes in the back of her head and dad saying "tell me if she says anything bad and then you'll need to call her about it.)   I mean, really, if it wasn't for how they raised me, I wouldn't know more than the basic stories of the Bible.  Noah would be just a story about building an ark instead of a story about trusting God even when things seem ridiculous (you do realize that rain hadn't been seen before the flood, right?  And Noah is building a boat for a flood?  Sounds like trust to me!).  If we're getting real, I appreciate my parents for demanding suggesting that I attend a Christian university (I think "fix" me to get back to normal was pretty much the reason) which furthered my education in the Bible by attending multiple Bible classes (where in most cases I earned a "C".....in fact, I'll never forget my first report card from college and my dad looking at it and saying "How in the WORLD do you get a 'C' in Bible history when you've been to church your entire life!??!?!!?!?).  I also had chapel every day where we would sing, pray and learn a lesson or hear a testimony....most of the time, I attended those chapels!  ;-)

During and after my time with formal Christian education and many questions with answers such as "because", "it says it in there somewhere" and "it's the way we've always done it", I just couldn't help but see that Hubby had this fabulous gift of music that was given to him and a pastoring spirit that I absolutely will never have, will never claim to have, and will absolutely never be blessed with.  So, as one of my family members will say "we left 'the church'".  I find that funny cuz we didn't leave 'the church'....I mean, there was a time when we were going through fertility issues and I was upset and we didn't go for six months and I just yelled at God one day and said "I WILL GET BACK IN CHURCH WHEN I GET PREGNANT AND DON'T LOSE THE BABY".  I'm NOT saying that's the way you should talk to God and I'm definitely not saying you should give God an ultimatum, but later we found out we were pregnant and we did get our butts back in church!  Anyhoo....like I was saying, we didn't leave 'the church', we changed the way we see things and decided to go to a church that thought a little differently.  Okay....fine....I'm not one to beat around the bush....we went to a church that uses instruments.  Some of you can stop gasping now....we still believe in God, grace, heaven, hell, salvation, baptism, communion....so just simmer down now.  So, we had a lot of fun adventures and met lots of fabulous people in our time as a worship pastor's family and eventually landed in a fantastic church where we are now with Hubby as a campus pastor (check out www.crossland.tv you will NOT be disappointed).


So when my mom said that she wanted us all to go on vacation together, but the one thing she really wanted us to do as a family is go to church together....they still go to a church that doesn't use instruments (which is fine)...well...I sucked it up and said "yes, we'd be glad to".  So picture this....we're on vacation....Saturday night....and we're just now telling our #s that we're going....
#2:  How are we going to Crossland if we're in Florida?
Me:  We're not.  We're going to church with Popei and Jojo.
#1:  I'm guessing there will be no instruments.
Me:  No.
#3:  NO DRUMS!??!?!?!?
Me:  No....and please don't ask about it.
#2:  But I miss my church friends.
#3:  I don't want to go meet new people.
Me:  The good thing is that we're not going to Sunday school...you'll sit with us in service.
#2:  IN SERVICE!?!?!?!?  
.....it was a most delightful conversation that actually ended with #2 throwing a pillow.  Can't wait until tomorrow!

We get up and we are on time.  I don't mean two or three minutes, I mean we are 15 minutes early!  We are all ready to go and out the door.  Florida must have this affect on people....you move there, you get up early, you eat the early bird specials, and you relax....I'm thinking we need to move to Florida!

We were told to meet them at the church building and when we pull up, it's just Popei and Amin.  Seriously.  I dealt with all of that last night and Jojo doesn't even show up???  She's the one that wanted us all to go to church together and she's still in bed?!?!?  SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?  Come to find out, she didn't feel well...fine, I'll give her a pass.

Amin opens the door and they are still in Sunday school.  That was a blowing the #s minds that they have Sunday school in the same place that they have service.  Even though I didn't know how this was going to go, I did enjoy being able to show the #s how I grew up.  I kept telling myself that this was going to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience....and you know how those can't go wrong.

As soon we we walk in the door, it was like mosquitoes to people with Type O blood.  Shaking hands, asking where we're from, patting the #'s heads, welcoming us, giving us visitors cards....it was quite overwhelming for a family that had never been there....and more than likely weren't showing back up since we're on vacation.  The best was when one guy went to Popei and Popei asked where the church we used to go to 20 years ago was cuz that's where we were looking to go this morning and couldn't find it.  Only my dad would go to one church and ask where another one is.  I'm sure that set a great feeling among the locals.  ha ha!

As I'm explaining to #3 and #1, who are sitting beside me, that things will be a little different and to just follow what the people in front of us do and if they have any questions, feel free to ask....in a quiet, whispering voice, I receive this text...
Hubby:  I don't think this is your dad's type of church.
Me:  Why?
Hubby:  Cuz the women have head coverings.
....have you ever told someone something and you didn't want them to look around?  Well, I was the one that you didn't want to tell anything to cuz I'm the one that would always look around, and I did.  I'm sure I got whip lash from spinning my head so quickly....which caused #1 and #3 to ask what I was looking at...and sure enough...there were women with head coverings on.  I'm not talking about hats friends....I'm talking about head coverings in the church of Christ.  Yes, I said it.  How did I explain that to #1 and #3?  I didn't, I took a picture instead.  Yes, friends, I am asking for forgiveness right this minute, cuz that is exactly what I did.  I had to get a closer look to see what was going on.  And then I started looking around at what we were wearing.  I've got my family in t-shirts and shorts while these people are dressed up in dresses....in fact, all the women were in dresses except for me.  Looking back on all this, I can only imagine what Popei thought of us compared to all these other people.  ;-)

After all this, the guy gets up there to welcome everybody and I grab a hymnal....
#1:  Why are you grabbing a Bible?
Me:  This is a hymnal.
#1:  What's a hymnal?
Me:  A book with hymns....didn't you already have this conversation with your band director?  
#1:  Oh yeah!  
....then another guy starts putting numbers up on the board....
#3:  What's he doing?
Me:  He's putting up the numbers of the songs we're going to sing.
#1:  We're going to sing ALL those songs?
Me:  Shhhh...yes.
....I could tell this was going to be a very long "once-in-a-lifetime-experience".

The guy gets to the podium and blows his pitch pipe to which #1 looks at me....
Me:  They don't claim it as an instrument....just to get their pitch of the first note.
#1:  Gotcha.  
...the man starts the first song and #1 starts throwing his entire body up in the air to stand up and I immediately block him by extending my arm which pulls him back in the pew with a loud thump....
#1:  WE DON'T EVEN STAND HERE?!?!??!
Me:  SHHHHHHH!!!!!  Apparently not.
#1:  But he's standing and you told me to follow what they do.
....I didn't know how to explain that.  The song leader IS standing, but absolutely no one else is even thinking about going to their feet.....
Me:  Just sit.
#1:  Will we ever stand?
Me:  I.  Don't.  Know.  


After every verse to every hymn (Hubby always says he had a family member that said the author of the song wrote every verse for a reason, so we should sing them all....and as a musician, I tend to agree), we have communion.

Now, all of my #s have been baptized and live out a Christian life.  They take communion....but of course, it's totally different from how we're about to do it here....
Me:  Okay...now listen up you two...they are going to pass the cracker first.  Take a piece and put it in your mouth and chew it up and swallow it.  
#3:  Crackers?  I LOVE crackers!!!!
Me:  Shhhh....a piece of a cracker.  Not an entire cracker.  
#3:  Oh man!
....so as the "cracker" is being passed down the pew, I take a piece and then the guy tries to take the tray from me.  After the "don't you dare take this from my son" glare, he stared questionably at me and let #3 take a piece of the cracker....
#3:  UGH!  Are they gonna pass out something else?  My mouth is crying cuz this cracker tastes so bad! 
Me:  Is there any way that you can please use your whispering voice so everybody in this building doesn't hear you?
.....and then they pass the juice....
Me:  Okay, you take a cup and you drink it. 
#3:  We drink out of the same cup?  That is disgusting!
Me:  No, we each get our own cup and we drink it and then put it back in the tray.  Got it?
#3:  Got it!
#1:  Got it!
....so the tray of juice comes around and gets to #1.  He takes a sip....and then another sip....and then another sip...
Me:  (frustrated)  What are you doing?  Drink it like a shot.
#1:  What's a shot?
Me:  Drink the thing in one gulp and let's go.
#1:  But I don't want to choke.
(Mind you, we STILL have the tray in our hands)
#3:  That's not bad....it got rid of that horrible cracker taste.
....and then the offering comes by and #1 is giggling....
Me:  Why are you laughing?
#1:  Someone put a pen in there!  
....have you ever tried to get a thirteen year old to stop laughing?  And then you find it funny for no reason whatsoever?  And then you start laughing?  Can you picture our "once-in-a-lifetime-church experience" yet?

I won't even get into how the preacher bashed other churches and their beliefs at least three times in the first five minutes of his sermon....or how the preacher said Revelation was purely figurative, but yet used Revelation in trying to prove all of his points....let's just say, I was listening and I really missed my Crossland family that day.

After service, we left.  I mean, I walked out of there completely exhausted.  Popei looked at me and said...
Popei:  I don't know if they were really excited we were there.
Me:  Ya think!?!?!?!?

But I will say, that it WAS a once-in-a-lifetime-experience!  #2 actually said that he liked the music....
#2:  The music was kinda neat.
Me:  Would you want that at our church?
#2:  Ummmm....if we could stand up...and dance...and add instruments...and it be a little faster. 
...yeah, I think he loved it!  ha ha!

As I reminisce over that day, I think of how neat it was to introduce the #s to a small portion of how it was when I grew up.  I'm grateful for my experience growing up even though it's not how we worship God now.  I have a good head on my shoulders and know enough Biblical history to be dangerous.  I owe that to my upbringing...to my parents who pushed me to go to church every time the doors were open....who didn't take away church when I was punished....who planned youth group activities for my friends since we didn't have a youth minister.  My parents made me the person I am today and I owe them a great deal for my knowledge about Christ.  And there's a little part of me that makes me happy that I got to worship with my family (wish my mom could have joined us) on vacation....but I sure am happy that God blessed my family with how we thought for ourselves and worship God in a powerful way for us in our life by numbers!

We Survived Sanibel Island...or Maybe Sanibel Island Survived Us!

There's nothing like going on vacation with your family.  And don't just stop at your immediate family, let's add grandparents and an uncle.  What could go wrong with going on vacation with seven other people?  And to top it all off, why don't you add their first airplane ride...cuz THAT won't add any stress to this trip.  No?  You're not interested?  Well, we did it....and survived!

Let's start with the first airplane trip.  Well, the first for #2 and #3....and we could say #1 since he doesn't remember his first trip up in the air.  I made #3 a social story (I knew that huge master's paper would help me out sooner or later in life) about flying on a plane.  We started reading the story two days before our trip and he carried that story all around the airport.  As we stood in line to give our luggage, we read the part of the story that lets him know that they will take good care of his stuff.  Then we went through TSA where #3 was a little leery about putting his stuff in a box....and #1 was a little too excited about being able to take his shoes off for them to scan them.  

We we got in the plane, it was full of people and they didn't look like they wanted to move.  We finally found a group of three and one guy was going to sit there.....I kinda looked at him with my "mother" look....

Man:  I'm guessing you'd like to sit here with your kids?

Me:  Yes. 

Man:  (HUGE sigh) Fine.

Me:  Thank you...you're too kind.

...I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!!  Why would you sigh?  Would YOU like to sit with my kids?  I could probably use the break.  You can tell them how much longer.  You can hold their hand if they're scared.  You can get up and down as they have to pee.  Whatever dude....

So we got split since there are no "five seats" together.  Hubby took #3 and I took #1 and #2.....

#1:  Are we in first class?

Me:  HA!

#1:  No?  What class are we in?

Me:  Last class.

#1:  WOW!  Last class is amazing!  I can't wait to see first class!

....I like how it doesn't take much to make these #s happy!  :-)

As I'm dealing with this....

....yes, that is #1 nervous about the flight and #2 telling him numerous ways of how our flight could go wrong.  And I'm in the middle....and then we hear this lady....laughing....loudly....she's obviously had a little too much to drink and she's giggling.  Wait a second....she's beside Hubby...and he's pastoring her.  What?!?!?!  He's the only one that could be on vacation and still work and we haven't even left the city yet....

Me:  So...we heard the lady you were beside.

Hubby:  Yeah, she was a little drunk.  Let out a few words....

Me: IN FRONT OF #3!?!?!?!?

Hubby:  Yes.  And then she asked what I did for a living...and then I had to counsel her the rest of the flight.  How was your flight?

Me:  Much more enjoyable than yours!  

We got to the condo around 1:30am and we were exhausted.  Yes....I made the #s take a shower...I mean, we gotta keep some kind of routine...even if it is 1:30am.  They were already excited to find their pillows from Popei and Jojo on the couch waiting for them....

But we did get up the next morning to...rain.  And then I saw this face on the couch....

....boy was #2 upset.  So we took him out in the sprinkles.  I mean, we're at the beach, who cares if it's sprinkling, right?!?!?  They had the best time!  They loved seeing all the shells.  They loves feeling the warm water.  They were so happy....and relaxed....and getting along.  I knew it wouldn't last long, but I'll take what I can get!  

So every day we'd get up and go to the beach and then the pool and then come inside during the hottest parts of the day and then eat dinner out with the family and then back to the pool or beach.  I told you, we like a schedule.  

Sunday we went shopping after church.  I'll explain church in a later post...trust me, it's a whole different post.  We went shopping because the boys were burned...yes, even the Hubby.  So we went into all these stores that I used to go in when I was little.  There was this one store I wanted to go to that sold key lime everything.  I mean, key lime cookies, key lime marmalade, key lime taffy, key lime cake mix, key lime seasonings....I love key lime flavor and this store has been there since I was a little girl.  So, of course, my excitement is through the roof as we walk in.....

Me:  I LOVE this place!  We went here to get key lime stuff when I was a little girl!!!

#3:  This place stinks.

Me:  Look!  There's key lime cookies....and key lime salt....and key lime....

#3:  Seriously...this place smells horrible.  Can we go?  My nose can't stand it anymore.

Me:  Take in those smells!  They are spices! 

#3:  My nose is sad....look....even this frog thinks it smells bad in here.

....and he immediately pointed to a salt and pepper shaker that had a frog covering his mouth and nose.  I gotta give it to #3, he's quick with the comebacks.  

We had a fabulous trip, but our trip had to come to an end eventually.  As you can see from this picture, even the pillows had tears....

....it was nice to hear how much fun the #s had on this trip!  I'm glad that we got to spend some time with my family!

So to end our trip, we flew home....and that's when I think I'll never fly again.  First let me say, that we were some of the last people to board and so we had to split up.  I was in tears and the flight attendant made a lady move.  I sat with #2, Hubby sat across the aisle from #3, and #1 sat two rows up from #3.  I just hated that we were split.  And then we were in the very back of the plane.  Did you know that the people in the back of the plane can feel every bump?  Did you know there are bumps in the air?  Have you ever felt the plane drop a bit?  I felt like my insides were gonna come through my nose.  We hit turbulence pretty hard and that's about the time they were serving drinks.  I drank my Diet Dr. Pepper like it was a shot and it did nothing to calm my nerves.  I might need something stronger next time....like a full Dr. Pepper.  

As I'm in my seat, the kid by the window pulls down the shade.  Seriously kid, I NEED to see as our plane is circling around Nashville.  Wait....what?  We're circling around Nashville?  That's when we hear the flight attendant says that Nashville has 50 miles per hour winds and we can't land so we're headed to Louisville.  What?!??!  I have to do ANOTHER take-off and landing?!!?!?  I'm seriously thinking of driving from Louisville at this point.  I am not good at landings.  I am not good at take-offs.  I'm not good with turbulence.  I'm apparently not a good flyer.  At one point I start singing to myself and #2 puts his hand under my arm and starts rubbing my fingernail.  He doesn't that when he's tired or nervous....but I'm thinking he's doing it to calm me down.  So we get to Louisville, refuel, and take off....again.  #2 just keeps rubbing my fingernail.  Maybe I do need a drink.  

As we're going through turbulence, #2 continues to talk to the kid that is beside him about sports and video games.  They've had great conversations all through the flight and then....

#2:  So do you go to church?

Kid:  Occasionally.

#2:  Occasionally?  What does that mean?

Kid:  Occasionally...sometimes we go, but not all the time.  

#2:  Well, then you need to come to Bowling Green or Glasgow or Morgantown Kentucky and come with me to Crossland...I bet you'd go more than occasionally after you visited with us.  

.....these types of things never cease to amaze me.  It makes me smile.  It makes me think that maybe we're doing something right in our life by numbers!