I Thought This Day Would Never Come

The setting:  An elementary school
The characters:  Elementary Kiddos
The conflict: The last day before fall break
The solution: 2:50pm
....it was a crazy day in the land of elementary kiddos.  From the beginning of the day, you could tell that everybody was living for 2:50pm.  We had a fun day in the land of elementary kiddos, but it might just be the longest day in history.  My 30 minutes classes seemed to be like 45 minutes...even my lunch break seemed extra long.  As I taught my last class, the kiddos were laying all over the floor.  They looked like wet noodles in a bowl of spaghetti....all slowly moving and limp.  But then the time came......2:50pm.  As I walked out the door to my last meeting of the nine weeks, teachers were giving each other "high fives"....I mean, 2:50pm was like the bell for dinner, the checkered flag at a race, the winning touchdown at a football game.  It was absolutely the most needed time for all of us today....and at the end of the day, we would all come back tomorrow....cuz we're in it for the kiddos.

This week has been rough due to #1 being sick.....and my precious Hubby took off two days to let #1 stay home.  It always amazes me how hard the #s fall when they're sick.  It's not a "okay, I don't feel well, but I'll keep on trucking'"....it's more like "I'm dying and I need you to make out my eulogy" type sickness.  #1 did stay in bed for almost 24 hours, so we knew something was wrong.  As #3 would say "good luck #1 felt better to go on his field trip today".......I mean, I KNOW the teachers absolutely LOVED that #1 missed two days worth of work and then showed up for the fun stuff.  Don't all teachers love that?!?!!?!  :-)

I will say that as I drove #1 to school today, I was very excited....
Me:  So, you know the class is today.
#1:  WAIT....is that what the field trip is about?!?!!?
Me:  Oh that's right....you DO have a field trip.  Surely they're not taking the sex teacher with you all.
#1:  Maybe she's going to teach us about sex in the great outdoors.
....I'm pretty sure this is where my blood pressure went sky high.  The only things I was thinking were:
*what if they DO take the sex teacher?
*what if they teach about animals?
*what if they see two animals having sex?
*what if they actually use the "birds and bees" story?
*what if there are more questions today......it's fall break....I don't want to answer sex questions.
Me:  I'm pretty sure it's just a field trip.
#1:  Yeah, you're probably right.
...you know what else makes me happy about fall break?  The sex class is OVER!!!!!!!

It was a battle of the wills.  Momma's will against a seven year old's will.  As we sat at the table, he cried, I cried.  He yelled, I yelled.  He rolled his eyes, I rolled my eyes.  He did everything to get out of eating lasagna.....he moved, he danced, he sat on my shoulders...but I stood strong.  Hubby was waiting on the sidelines ready to reward him with a piece of bread.  Bribery.  Whatever works for the kid to put the lasagna bite in his mouth.  It's not like he doesn't like lasagna....he loves it.  But today, he hated it.  Hated it so much that he sat at the table an extra 30 minutes as we battled.  The bread is now on the table and I've threatened to lick and eat it.  JUST EAT THE STINKIN' BIT OF LASAGNA!!!!  Finally, I counted backwards from 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...BIT TAKEN....and then he just left it in his mouth.  YOU HAVE TO CHEW CHILD!!!!!!  3...2...1...SWALLOWED!  And he swallowed.  It was gone.  The battle was over....but the war hasn't been won in our life by numbers!

What a Weekend!

If you need to hear a fabulous sermon about being overwhelmed, you need to listen to today's sermon at www.crossland.tv.  This sermon punched me in the stomach, hit me in the head and then took my feet right from under me.  It's about how we need to slow down.  God told us to rest.  God expects us to rest.  We also need to understand that God is very powerful and can change our circumstances, but we need His presence more than we need for Him to change what is going on in our lives.  When Elijah was running from the threat of Jezebel, God told him to rest. When Elijah rested and ate and rested again, the circumstances stayed the same, but Elijah was in the presence of God.  If you don't have time to take a nap, you're too busy....and so today, I took a nap.  Seriously, you've got to listen to this sermon...it's amazing!

My weekend started with a trip to the doctor.  It was a scheduled appointment...one to go over why my blood pressure is so high even on medicine.  After this appointment, I ended up scheduling blood work, an EKG and an ultrasound.  I do have to get tested for hemochromatosis...my mom has it, my uncle has it......and apparently high blood pressure and these horrible headaches could be a symptom for this.  I mean, I needed something else to worry about, right?  I will say that my doctor is fabulous and I know that he'll make sure I'm okay.....he's got to, I teach his kiddos!  

So I had a meeting after the doctor's appointment and brought dinner home after the meeting....

#2: I thought you were eating dinner at your meeting.
Me: I just couldn't eat cuz I wanted to concentrate so I brought it home to eat.
#2: Where is it?
Me: Right here.
#2: That's a salad.
Me: Yes.
#2: You mean to tell me they fed you salad for dinner?
Me: Yes.
#2: That's ridiculous.

.....he was so stinkin' serious.  I'm guessing I need to remember that in the future, #2 needs meat!  

On Saturday, #2 had football.  It was rainy and cool, but such a good game.  I love watching #2 so passionate about something.  We were rushing to get ready and when we were at the game, I noticed that #3 was wearing this.....

.....how did we let him out of the house lookin' like that?!?!?!?  Gotta love this kid's style....it's all his own!

We did go to Sam's Club after we ate lunch....
Guy:  Hello folks!  Have you heard about our special just for Sam's Club Members?
Me:  Is this with satellite tv?  
Guy:  YES!!!
Me:  Yes, we've heard it. 
#1:  That's when we got cable!
.....it doesn't matter how many times I think about this....I still laugh!!!!

Please pray a special prayer for #1....he doesn't feel very good tonight and has been in bed since 4pm.  Poor little guy only has three days of school this week......I hope he can make it.  Nobody wants to be sick in our life by numbers.  

I've Been Trying to Teach You That for Years!

#2: So I learned how to tie my shoe today.
Me: Honey, I've been trying to teach you for three years. Who taught you today?
#2: I just decided it was time to learn and so I did it. It was time Mom....I AM growing up.

....Seriously, the kid sat down and tied his shoe.  I just looked at him.  I mean, we've been trying to get him to sit down and learn to tie his shoes for years.  I even told him that he had to learn it before he left kindergarten....did you know that they don't hold kiddos back for not being able to tie their shoe?!?!? 

Me:  Who in the world taught you how to tie your shoe today?
#2:  Ummmm...NOBODY.  I just sat down and tied it.
Me:  NOBODY taught you?  NOBODY took time out of their lives to show you the bunny ears?  NOBODY has spent countless hours trying to help you tie your shoes?!?!?!?!?
#2:  Nope.  Not today.  

......UGH!  I should be very happy that he can tie his shoes.....BUT IT DRIVES ME CRAZY THAT HE JUST DECIDED TODAY THAT HE WANTED TO DO IT AND HE DID IT!!!!  Okay, rant over.  YAY #2...even though I've been working with him for years on trying to tie his shoe and he didn't seem grateful but now he miraculously can tie his shoes cuz of no telling what reason.  Okay....NOW the rant is over.  

Funny story.....I get this text alert on my phone from #3's teacher.....

Text:  Ok so, #3 got a nudge.  He sobbed quietly pretty hard 

...and that was all that came up on my text alert.  Now I'm in the middle of class, but I KNOW that this must be important for her to send me a message.  So I patiently (yeah right) finish class and check the message.  The message went on to say that the sobbed quietly for about five minutes and explained why he got a nojo.

Me:  So.....how was school?
#3:  It was good. 
Me:  Sounds great.  
(a few minutes pass)
Me:  So....nothing happened at school today?
#3:  (sobbing)  I got a nojo today and it wasn't my fault I was just helping a friend who needed help in math but the teacher said that we aren't allowed to talk anymore and i felt bad because my friend didn't understand the math and I know that I should have listened to my teacher but you always say to help our friends and I was torn and God wasn't telling me what to do so I just decided to do what I thought God would tell me to do which is to help my friend and that's when I got a nojo.  

.....yes....biggest run on sentence ever...and think about how hard it was to understand since he was sobbing!  After we had a great talk about listening to our teacher and all of the other ways we could have handled the situation...and all the sobbing was finished....

Me:  You do know the teacher still likes you, right?
#3:  Yes.
Me:  Do you still love her?
#3:  Don't push it.  

......but he did wake up this morning and got ready to go to school without a tear....and after school, he did say "you know, I really do like her".  Great.....all is calm in our life by numbers!

Gurgling Toilets = Not Good

The last few days the toilet has been gurgling while I'm taking a shower.  As someone that has a billion tabs open in my mind at once, I heard it, knew I needed to let Hubby know, and then would go about my day and never say a word.  It's not that I wanted to cause us plumbing problems....it's just that wasn't a tab that was flagged in my brain.  Now that I look back on it, it couldn't have just happened when I was taking a shower.....all of us take showers around here, surely someone else heard the gurgling, right?

Well, Sunday morning the toilet is gurgling and now the bathtub won't drain....

Me:  HUBBY!!!!!!

Hubby:  What's going on?

Me:  I'm thinking something isn't working right.

Hubby:  UGH!  You think?!?!?!

.....so he's plunging and I'm getting ready and the #s are like "what is going on".....

Me:  Do not poop.

#s:  WHAT?!?!!?!

Me:  Do not poop.  Hold it until we get to church?

#2:  You're saying that I can't do my morning poop?

Me:  HOLD IT UNTIL WE GET TO CHURCH!

....and they did....and they rushed in the church building as soon as we got there!  

After church we go to the store and pick up some stuff for the toilet.  When we get home, I see what Hubby has bought.....

Me:  What is that?

Hubby:  The stuff for the toilet.  

Me:  It's in a sealed bag.

Hubby:  Just means it will work better.

Me:  Did you read the instructions?

Hubby:  Why?

Me:  You need protective gear to use this.

Hubby:  I got this.  

.....now I know where #2 gets his "nothing can hurt me" attitude.

Guess what....the "bag o' poison" doesn't work.  So Hubby calls the guy that some people from church recommend...and he can't come until the next day.  

#1:  Can we use the toilet yet?

Me:  No.

#1:  I have to poop.

Me:  Can you not hold it?

#1:  Sure....until when?

Me:  Tomorrow.

#1:  TOMORROW!!?!?!??!?!?

Hubby:  Let's go.

Me:  Where are we going?

Hubby:  Somewhere for the boys to use the bathroom.

Me:  This is ridiculous and disgusting.  I'm not going to a gas station.

Hubby:  We're going to church.....at least we know it's clean. 

.....so not all the #s want to go, but we made them.  This is where we start looking for hotels.  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HOTELS COST!?!??!?  $109 and up for a bed.  A BED!?!??!

We decided to stay at home....

#2:  What happens tomorrow morning?  I poop every morning before school.  I cannot do this.  I have to poop to start my day.  MOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!

Me:  If you have to poop, go upstairs and don't flush.  You'll be fine.  

....we did survive.....and the guy came out and didn't charge us an arm and a leg.  We are relieved....and now realize how much we treasure toilets and our plumbing in our life by numbers!  

Well, He didn't Swallow It.....

......but the tooth is finally out!!!!  I actually tried to pull it out last night when #3 was asleep.  I tip-toed to his bed to check on him and his mouth was open.  He looked so peaceful with his drool coming out of his mouth and him snuggled so sweetly under the covers.  There was a little noise in the room as the fan was blowing and the diffuser was sending out scents of lavender, peppermint and lemon.  I quietly got my fingers ready and grabbed ahold of the tooth.  I kept thinking "pull it out like a bandaid, pull it out like a bandaid" and started to pull and then....CHOMP....that kid bit me while he was asleep!

So this morning, after an early football practice and lounging around the house....
Me:  It's time.
Hubby:  For what?
Me:  To get this tooth out.  We're going to tell him we need to floss his tooth because of all the food stuck in the gum and we're going to see if we can get the floss to get it out.
Hubby:  Okay.
Me:  #3!!!!!!!
#3:  Yes?
Me:  Come in here, we have to get the food out of your tooth.
#3:  No.....I don't want you to pull it out.
Hubby:  We're going to floss it first.
....so I got in his mouth and sure enough, it is ready to come out, but once I tried to twist it, he closed his mouth and put his hands over it and wouldn't let me see the tooth again.  So we did the next best thing........I got on the bed, held his legs and arms down and Hubby went to his mouth and pulled out the tooth.  There were tears, there was screaming, there was a little blood, but all is well...and look at how happy he is when looking at his tooth.....

....and then he kept asking "why is there a stick in my tooth".  So we got to use the cool dentist term of "pulpectomy material" used to hold his tooth in his gum when he had surgery a few years ago.  It kinda does look like a stick.....

So after this fabulous ordeal of getting a tooth out, we heard bubbling from the toilet.  Hubby went to check on the sounds and saw the tub was still full of water.  Sounds like a plumber issue....and here is our plumber....

.....so off to the store we went to get some heavy duty stuff for our plumbing.  I mean, we couldn't have just had an easy day right?  :-) So right before we left for the store, we just started laughing.....one of those laughing fits that has to happen because if it doesn't, you might just cry.  We laugh all the time here and I absolutely LOVE this picture us.....









Tonight we finished the last of the Star Wars movies.  I couldn't miss this one cuz it has the Ewoks in it.  You can't pass up the Ewoks.  Well, I see #2's heart all the time, but I really saw his heart tonight while watching the movie.  #2 starts bawling when the Ewok died from the gun fire....

.....and then he cried again when Darth Vader died and then Luke burned him.  I mean, #2 really has this heart of gold and it doesn't come out all the time cuz he likes to be rough and tough, but he sure does have it.

So tomorrow is our second Sunday at the Crossland Butler County campus!  I am so excited!  I am pumped because it feels like we've been there forever.....I guess it just feels like home in our life by numbers!

I Just Don't Understand.....

#3.....I love this kid so much, but there are so many things that I just don't understand about him.  Like.....

*why he screams, kicks, and hits when I'm cutting his nails and it ends up that a chore that would normal take five minutes turns into 25 and we are both pouring from sweat and need a nap afterwards. 

*why he loves spelling homework so much on Tuesdays that he is eager to get to the table to do his work, but by Thursdays he has decided that spelling homework is for the birds and from the devil and refuses to do it.

*how he can find a shirt and wear it every day of the week and then all of the sudden, he has decided that it's the worst shirt he's ever seen and never wants to be seen in it again.

*and how his front tooth is hanging on by a thread and he can move it every which way, but if I go near it, he either slaps my hand, puts his hands over his mouth or tries to bite me.  

I'm telling you, the tooth is killing me.  It's probably killing me more than ever because it makes me want to vomit.  It is just hanging there in his precious little mouth (not so precious when he's trying to bite me), but he doesn't want it to go away.  I taught his class music today and he had his mouth closed and he was smiling with that tooth hanging out.  I finally told him to "put his tooth back".  Then he keeps asking me to wriggle it for him.  I will and then he starts to bite.  I've learned that I have ninja like reflexes.......but it's more like a ninja in training.  That kid has gotten me a few times and when I get onto him about it, I'm thinking "I'm the idiot that's putting my hand in his mouth".  

So sometime this weekend, I'm praying that this tooth comes out.....or falls out.....or gets eaten....oh my goodness, I can only imagine what would happen in our house if #3 swallows his tooth....no, I am NOT going through poop to find that!  That would be the story of the year in our life by numbers!  

What a Day!

All it takes is one thing to set the entire day off it's balance.  Usually after an unusually rowdy class or rough morning, I can bounce back to normal and the rest of the day is fine.  Today.....not so much.  And really I mean that since I couldn't bounce back, my day kept getting worse and worse.  I'm about ready to crawl into my covers and hide under my heated blanket until morning.  

It started with #1 and I running late.  I would love to say this rarely happens, but it's beginning to happen every day.  I think it's because I've decided that I like to talk in the mornings.  I think this is part of getting older...you get older, you get more social in the morning....maybe?!?!!?  Or maybe it's because that's the only time Hubby and I can actually carry on a conversation that isn't on the phone?!?!?!  Anyhoo.....we are running late and #1 has to be there early for pep band....seriously, wouldn't it make more sense for a bunch of musicians to have practice after school?  Who likes being at school at 7am?  So we're running late and throwing things in the car and then this happens.....

....yes, that's the passenger door handle....or lack thereof.... to our car.  I just looked at it in my hand, went to Hubby, handed it to him and walked off.  How in the world does this happen.....again.  Yes, I said again.  This happened last year with the driver's door handle.  UGH!  

So I take #1 to school and then I'm driving to my school.  Well, we have this thing called a "round about".  I actually like the round about cuz I don't have to stay at a red light or stop sign.  It does make the traffic go faster and it hasn't given me any problems....until today.  I was minding my own business, driving like I usually do and this guy decides that a yield sign isn't for him today and runs it and I am inches....if that....away from hitting his car.  I hit on my horn, he stops.....STOPS.....looks at me to make sure we didn't hit I guess, looks at me and waves and drives off.  He waved at me???  HE WAVED AT ME!?!?!?!?!?  

Now.....before I go into my next range of emotions.....I am such a careful driver.  Like, careful enough that people do make fun of me.  I can't go over the speed limit....it's just not in my blood.  I literally am always anxious if I'm even 2 miles over the speed limit.  I use a turn signal when I turn.  I come to a complete stop at a stop sign.  I know, it's crazy...but it's me.  Back to my story....

Where was I?  Oh yeah....HE WAVED AT ME?!?!!??!  Now at this point, I'm livid.  Absolutely livid. It took everything in my power to not follow this guy and chew him out.  There was nothing in my mind at this point except "make a wise choice".  There was something telling me "make a wise choice.....drive to work and calm down".  At this point, I am absolutely sobbing.  I don't mean crying.....I mean gasping for air, tears streaming down my face and I can't talk in coherent sentences.  I call Hubby.....I put him on speakerphone and place the phone down on the passenger seat.....

Hubby:  I cannot understand you.  Did you have an accident or almost have an accident?

Me:  I (sob, gasp, sob) almost (sob, gasp, sob) had an (sob, gasp, sob) accident. 

Hubby:  You need to get to work and calm down.  

....the conversation was nice.  I needed him to tell me to get a grip and get to work.  I did just that and when I looked in the mirror, I looked absolutely awful. 

The rest of my day went well....we have a fabulous lady that works in the front office at one of my schools (I mean, they are ALL fabulous) and she calmed me down a bit and then made me laugh and I got better quicker.  I shook the rest of the day.  I guess my nerves were just shot.  When I went out to the parking lot to pick up the #s, I at first couldn't even get my body to process to put the car into reverse.  I'm pretty sure I might need a driver for the rest of my life (can you tell things like this absolutely make me crazy)!

Tonight, #2 had football practice.  This means that #3 has to come with me seeing that he can't stay by himself at seven years old.  This also means that #3 could have a great time for 1 1/2 hours OR it can be miserable for everybody....can you guess which happened?!?!?!  

First, #3 spit in my mouth.....

#3:  I'm going to spit. 

Me:  No you're not.  

#3:  Okay fine.....hey, open your eyes and mouth.

Me:  No....

.....and as I said "no", he spit in my mouth.  Now this is in front of someone...whether they were paying attention or not, I have no clue.  Surprisingly, I didn't lose it.  I didn't go off....it's almost like I expected it.  

Then all throughout the practice, he was all over me, on the floor, upset with me, wanted something that I couldn't give him, etc.  I was pretty much watching the clock the entire time cuz I was ready to go.  At the end of the practice, a friend and I were talking and I said.....

Me:  If #2 misbehaves tomorrow, you can punch him.  

#3:  Cuz Mommy punches him all the time.

......WHAT!?!?!?!?!?  DID HE JUST SAY THAT!?!?!?!?!?  Seriously, I think this kid goes from kind to crazy in 2.5 seconds!

We got home and I was just about done.  #3 wasn't listening, he was talking back....and we just had a fabulous week!  So he came to me and was a complete smart aleck......

Me:  You know what?  I'm done.  You need to go on the steps and talk to God. 

.....now I don't recommend doing this with every child, but with this kid, well, he talks to God all the time.  They are tight.  I'm not being sarcastic either.  He went to the steps and stayed there for about seven minutes.  After that, his eyes were red, tears were rolling down his face....

#3:  We're finished.

Me:  What did you talk about?

#3:  My actions.  I told God everything....He said he already knew and He wants me to make good choices.  He also said that He forgives me and He loves me very much. 

.....I'm going to tell you...I truly believe that #3 sat on our steps and had a conversation with God.  There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that #3 and God had a serious, but loving conversation....mostly because when I heard him on the steps, it's like someone is sitting right next to him.  The way he looks, the way he talks....#3 is talking to someone.  

At the end of the end of my night, I've dropped a five pound weight on my foot.  Yeah, I'm about done with this day.  I don't have many days like this, but my goodness, today was one of those "I want to sleep this day away" in our life by numbers!  

Expired Humus!?!?!?!?

I really feel that as a musician, people just don't get this schedule problem that we have.  I mean, I got up at 5:30am, had a 7:30am meeting, taught all day, got home, fed the #s, had a football game, and got to bed 1 hour and 45 minutes past my bedtime.  Musicians can't do this.  We need sleep.  Our creative brains work only when we've had enough sleep.  And boy do I need my sleep.  Right now I'm looking at the clock thinking "50 minutes until bedtime....8:45pm can't come soon enough".  If I could get school to start at 10am, my entire schedule would be perfect!  :-)

#2 had his first football game of the season.  Saturday was a jamboree and last night we played the same team.  Now I'm not bragging......heck, yes I am....OUR COACHES ROCK!!!!  I am truly a competitive person.  It's not a friendly competition either.....it's pretty sad how competitive I am.  In fact, when I taught high school choir, I didn't do competitions....and it was because I didn't know how I'd be during that competition stuff.  I was already on edge during concerts, plays, and musicals.....intense might be a better word for it.  I'm even like that during concerts...I just hide it better by cleaning the house a whole lot more....or getting onto the #s (which, yes, I'm working on).  So when this whole football thing started with #2 a few years ago, I was on the sidelines screaming, yelling, coaching...and one point.....
#3:  Come on ref.....are ya blind!?!?!!?
....THAT'S when I knew I was saying too much and needed to keep quiet.  It's hard seeing your five year old yell at the ref like I was.

So last night, I tried to keep quiet.  I would clap.  I yelled out #2's nickname once (I yelled out something positive....I promise I wasn't coaching) and then decided to keep quiet.  So during this game, I continually watch the coaches.  It's just something I do since my kiddo is out there.  He has NEVER had a bad coach (unless you count me when we coached him basketball) in all of the years that he's played sports....but you always have to watch out, right?  So I watched the coaches last night.....

I LOVE OUR COACHES!!!!!  I watched our coaches cheer on our boys.  I watched our coaches give high fives.  I watched our coaches pull our kiddos to the side when they needed to talk to them.  I watched our coaches yell to them about what to do but they were NEVER degrading and never yelling at them.  I watched our kiddos as they listened to our coaches.  I watched our kiddos as they respect our coaches.  I see the love on both sides....from the players and the coaches.  But the absolutely, fabulous, most amazing thing I saw was this.....

.....yes friends.....the coaches are praying with our team.  With #2 being such a young Christian, I've been worried about how it will be on a team.  We've talked to him about being a shining light for Jesus.  We've told him that some people cuss, some people say things they shouldn't, but he doesn't have to act like them.  #2 has a pretty good head on his shoulders, but it really helps that his coaches love Jesus and aren't afraid to show it.

After the fabulous game last night, we came home, the #s got ready for bed and we were off in dreamy land way after bedtime.  Do people realize that there is school the next day and some mommas like their football players in bed before 10pm?

So apparently we need to go to the grocery store.  Hubby makes me a salad every day for lunch (yes, I am VERY blessed) and today I opened my lunchbox and this is what I found....

......when looking at this, there is expired humus, two cheese balls, four tangelos, a bag of chips, an apple and a peach bar.  I don't even know how to make sense of this lunch....but I love him and I am happy that I even got lunch packed for me...but come on....EXPIRED humus?!?!?!?!

After a long day, I picked up the #s......
Me:  Did you talk to your teacher about the missing reading assignments?
#1:  Yes....and she's letting me do them over.
Me:  But you DID it!
#1:  I can't find it....but I KNOW I did it.
Me:  Was she upset?
#1:  No...she was really nice.  I'm going to turn it in tomorrow.
Me:  She must be nice....don't take advantage of it....just do it.
#1:  Yes.......I'm going to do it right now.
.....I'm proud of him...but reading is killing him...it's killing us!!!!

Me:  How was your day?
#3:  Today was the best day ever!!!!
Me:  How come?
#3:  I got chocolate milk with my lunch!!!!
Me:  It's the little things.....
#3:  No...that's a huge thing!!!!
....and for #3....that is a huge thing!  It made his day to get chocolate milk.

Me:  How was your day?
#2:  I have this paper I need you to sign.
Me:  Sounds like you had a great day!
#2:  It's due on Thursday, but we can turn it in tomorrow.
Me:  Wow!  What a fabulous day you had!
#2:  So can you sign in?
Me:  I can't believe you had such a wonderful day!
#2:  Are you even listening to me?
Me:  No....cuz you're not listening to me.
#2:  You are killin' me.
Me:  The feeling is mutual.
......eventually....like a few hours later....I found out that he had a great day!

#3 FINALLY lost his tooth.  This thing has been hanging on by a thread and he's just been playing with it....
Me:  You have GOT to get that tooth out.
#3:  But it hurts.
Me:  It won't hurt if you get it out.
#3:  But I really like playing with it.
Me:  Honey, you can turn it, twist it and stick it out of your mouth....pull it out.
#3:  No.....I like it where it is.
.....after dinner, I let him have a riesen candy....
#3:  MOMMY!!!!!  IT CAME OUT!!!!!!
Me:  What?!?!?!
#3:  I put the candy in my mouth and then I was like "what is that hard thing in there" AND IT WAS MY TOOTH!!!!!
Me:  Well it's about time!!!  YAY!!!!
#3:  (turns immediately sad) But it's my friend.....
.....just can't win sometimes in our life by numbers.

We Made It!!!!

I don't even know where to start to describe the things swimming in my head right now.  Right now it's like 1527 feeling tabs are up in my brain right now and I'm trying to look at each one of them and analyze them.  Feeling tabs such as
Excitement
Awe
Surprise
Amazed
Relieved
Exhausted
Time to Plan
Make More Lists
.....and the feelings go on and on.  Let's start with last night....

We had a family movie night.  Between Hubby in Butler County getting that building ready and #2 with football, we haven't really been the "family that eats together" lately.  A few nights I didn't even eat dinner and two nights I had chips with cheese on them.  I gave the #s the choice of a sandwich or cereal a few nights....and they just looked at me....
#2:  Are you kidding me?  A sandwich or cereal?
Me:  Daddy's not home and we haven't gone to the store and we're not going out.
#2:  Seriously....you want me to eat a sandwich or cereal?  FOR DINNER?
Me:  When I was your age, I had cereal a lot for dinner.....or a tv dinner.
#2:  I'll gladly eat dinner in front of the tv.
Me:  Well, that's not gonna happen.
....see...I am a stickler for our family not watching tv while we eat.  The #s probably ask a few times a week if they can watch tv while they eat dinner and they know the answer is gonna be a big fat "NO".  I think that if I actually said yes, they would do a double take, ask who took my body and still be afraid to watch the tv.

So our movie night was Stars Wars....the fifth episode/movie/chapter....whatever you call it.  Hubby started this a few weeks ago with the #s as a "father/son" night and I went to the room and just chilled.  Last night I decided to watch it with them.  We laughed, held on to our seats, and made fun of the acting (let's get real....those Storm Troopers should have killed Princess Lea as she got onto the ship....they're supposed to be great warriors, they're shooting everywhere and can't hit her at all?  Seriously. ).

When the movie was off, we went right into "don't act like a crazy person tomorrow at the new campus at church because nobody wants to have a pastor whose kids are out of control and disrespectful" speech.  I think they were so excited about tomorrow (but didn't know how to put it into words) that they were all over the place instead of in their bed.  We finally got them settled and I just told God that I needed some sleep.  I didn't want to sleep past the alarm, but I needed some good, solid, peaceful sleep....and God totally gave that to me.  I had a few people say they were just too excited to sleep and I'm standing there thinking "dude, I got the best sleep that I've gotten in the last two weeks".

We got up and started getting ready.  We were all excited, but very calm.  I mean, something is bound to not happen correctly and it's gonna start with in our house before we leave.  #1 does pretty well....eats....gets ready....is on the couch ready to go.  He's older, I should expect that, right?  HA!  Must be another miracle that God has blessed me with!

So #2 comes to me to talk and he's wearing a big old t-shirt and shorts, he's got one sock on that's longer than the other one, his hair isn't even combed, and his glasses are sliding off his face....
Me:  I'd prefer that you not wear a t-shirt to church.
#2:  MOM...this is what I wear.  I want them to love me for me....not what I wear.
Me:  Well, today I want them to love you for what you wear.   CHANGE YOUR SHIRT.
....so after pouting and stomping and crying, he put on a red shirt.....
Me:  You are wearing red shorts AND a red shirt AND black socks!?!?!?!?
#2:  You're killin' me.
.....and I let him go.   I gotta let this stuff go.....ugh...that is sooooo hard for me.

And then here comes #3.....
#3:  I'm thinking I want to comb my hair.
Me:  Okay.....
#3:  I'm going to do it myself.
.....and yes, he did.  And he got frustrated.  And he pitched a fit.  And he changed combs three times thinking that it might be the comb's fault.  And then eventually Hubby combed his hair.....and then someone put hairspray in it.....cuz I could pick it all up with one piece of hair.

We get to the church building and it's like we're race cars....we all have a plan and we have to GO GO GO as soon as we walk in the building.  I think about all the things we got done just this morning and think "WOW......where did we get all of that energy, cuz I could use that tomorrow at 7:03am when I show up at school".

Now one of my biggest fears was about to prove true or false....Hubby and I made the first pot of coffee.  Seriously.....we don't make coffee, we don't drink it....but we had to make it...

....and we made it!  We made our first batch...pot....cup of coffee!   

8:37am we ask all of our volunteers to go into the auditorium for some last minute things.  And then I check my phone and get a text from one of my dear friends in Florida.  She sends me Philippians 1:3,4,6.....
Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.  Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy......And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
....talk about tears.  So I read that to our volunteers and I am tearing up because I am amazed at all God's timing in my life that led up to this moment.  This very moment.

And then the amazing thing happened.....PEOPLE SHOWED UP!!!  I can't even begin to tell you how this is a miracle to me.  When Hubby first took this position, I had a dream about not getting the coffee right....like, it wouldn't work and people were mad.

Then I thought "what if people don't come...what if they don't like us....what if they don't want to see our pastor on a screen....what if they hate children....what if they don't want a family with just three boys......what if they don't like a gravel parking lot....what if only people from Bowling Green and Glasgow come and then they all leave the next week and it's just down to the five of us....what if....".....yeah, the list goes on and on.  Can you tell that I over think things a little too much!??!?!?!

I started seeing familiar faces....then I started people that I didn't know....but with Crossland, you never know if you've just never seen them.  I looked at the two ladies beside me....
Me:  Do you know them?
H:  No.
Me:  Do YOU know them?
A:  No.
Me:  (thinking only)  WE HAVE VISITORS!!!  REPEAT....WE HAVE VISITORS!!!!!
....and they kept coming.  We had them filling out check-in sheets.  We were showing them to their classes.  We went around to classes to see if anybody needed anything.  We were so excited!!!!  We had a blast and I was just so stinkin' amazed at God's work.

But then.....I went into the auditorium.....talk about a flood of emotions.  And these emotions must have been inside of me for a while cuz they just came out of me today like a waterfall.  I saw our pastor's wife and hugged her and was a blubbering idiot.  The seats were packed...people were standing in the back.  Hands were raised.  Songs were being sung.  Tech was working.  Pictures were being snapped.  It was absolutely breath-taking.  This is where God shut my mouth, opened my heart a little bit more and made me realize that this is why I am here.  I absolutely loved getting things ready for this place.  I loved seeing the kiddos walk into their classes for the first time.  I loved getting hugs.  I loved helping our adults.  I mean, God knew....HE KNEW....this was where my family was going to be at this time.  He knew years ago that Crossland...a community of refuge and hope for all people...would open a campus in Butler County with Hubby as the campus pastor years before we knew.  He knew that the valleys that we have been through would lead us to this mountaintop experience today.

At one point, we "Facetimed" the BG campus and showed them our facility during the service.  And we were watching our FaceTime call on the screen....we were watching BG watch us in Butler County.  WHAT!?!?!??!  This tech stuff is crazy awesome!!!!!!

After service, we had a cookout for our family....our fabulous church family.  It was amazing to see all the kiddos getting along and loving the bounce houses.  The food was delicious and the company was great!  And meeting people....I met a ton of people.  Then it hit me....I've got to remember names.  People were calling me "Kelley" all day and I would smile......I have GOT to find out a trick to remember names.

We eventually got back to BG and took the trailer full of bounce houses back and ran by the church building to drop off tubs and then to Sonic to get the #s a milkshake....because they said they deserved a milkshake for all that they did today....yeah kids....playing, learning about Jesus, jumping in bounce houses, and eating took a lot out of you today.  :-)

And because we don't know how to relax, Hubby cut the #'s hair this afternoon.  And then #1 hit his nose on the counter and had a massive nosebleed.  And then #2 had a major meltdown cuz he hasn't had a nap today.  Yeah, that's right friends.....we're back to normal in our life by numbers!

Football!!!!!

Today was our first football game....I say "our" first game because we are all on the edge of our seats praying that #2 doesn't get hurt in this game.  I mean, we have our sunglasses on looking all cool and at ease as we sit in our chairs, but let's just say that my heart medicine really isn't even working the second this kid goes out on the field.  I'm sure that it wouldn't be so bad if the other team were about two feet and were running around picking flowers on the team, but that just wasn't the case today.  I mean, the other team had kiddos that looked bigger than Hubby.  I'm thinking I need to see some of these kid's birth certificates to make sure they aren't supposed to be playing on the upper division team. 

#2 got to play every time the offense went up.....and I am proud to say that he was absolutely excellent!  He was knocking down kiddos and running....up the field?  Down the field?  He was running the way he was supposed to be going.  

So the first year that #2 played football, he was afraid that he was gonna hurt the other players on the team.  Well, you might not know this about me, but I'm a tad bit competitive and I told him that he needed to toughen up to play football.  He doesn't need to purposefully hurt a kid, but he's supposed to tackle them.  This is also the same year that Hubby got cancer......so one night, #2 and I are sitting and talking and he's worried about Hubby.....

#2:  You know what I hate?

Me:  What?

#2:  Cancer.  I just hate cancer.....and cantaloupe.  I hate cantaloupe too.

....and from that point forward, we remind #2 every time he goes out on the field that he needs to think of the other team as cancer and cantaloupe.  He's added satan this year on his hate list too.  

Me:  Remember, you need to be tough.

#2:  Yes....I hate cancer, cantaloupe, and satan.

Me:  GREAT!!!!

....and it's gotten him through a lot of games.  In fact, there are times I've had to scream (yeah, I know you can't imagine that) from the sidelines "CANCER and CANTALOUPE".  Nice to know that cancer did do something good for us.  

Last year we added something to motivate him.  He LOVES riesen candy.

So last year we added that every time he tackles someone, he could have a riesen.....and then we had to say that it was limited to two riesen's.  So during football season, we keep lots of these things in our house....and they are, oh so good!  And yes, he's already asked for his two pieces today....I have GOT to go to the store!  

I leave you with these pictures.....

.....I'm so proud of this boy.  He loves sports and puts everything into them.  He's so focused on football....and nothing gets him out of that focus.  He's turned our world upset down with sports.  He made his two musician parents look at sports, try on helmets, buy cleats, and sit through countless coaching meetings....but I wouldn't have it any other way in our life by numbers!

I Don't Want to Redo This Day!

I'm done.  It's just been one of those poopy days, ya know?  I obviously can't go into it cuz it's school stuff, but today when I left, I looked at a friend and said "REALLY" and he was like "I KNOW"....we both had kinda poopy days.  Some people think that special teachers don't do much....we're just watching the kiddos so real teachers can have their planning.  But we do have curriculum, we do have national standards, we do work really hard.  And let's get real...this had nothing to do with any teachers.....it was just a poopy day.  I love to teach music, but today I'm thinking "I'm 38...I don't get paid enough to deal with this kind-of stuff"....but I do love to teach music....I mean, who else got to dress up in their '70's costume today?!?!?!?!

Okay.....End.  Of.  Rant.

So today was week two of the "special class" for #1...also known as the sex class.  I'm feeling a little more at ease since #1 keeps asking Hubby and I the questions and not relying on the teacher or his friends.....
Me:  Sooooo....how was the class today?
#1:  It was okay.
Me:  Any questions?
#1:  No......
Me:  Okay.
....I then proceeded to get #3 ready to do his homework at my desk....
#1:  Okay....I DO have one question.
Me:  Sure....
#1:  Why does tv use sex as entertainment?
...RED FLAG.....HAVE THEY TALKED ABOUT PORN?....WHAT DID THEY SHOW?....
Me:  Okay...let's talk.....
....so we sat down and talked about how satan uses sex in the entertainment industry to make you want it...and then you'll do it.  We talked about why it's used and how it's used in all kinds of things.   We talked about how sex is used in all kinds of entertainment such as tv, movies, jokes, online as porn, etc....
#1:  What's porn?
...at this point, I want to tape my mouth with duct tape just so my lips will swell and nothing more comes out of them.  Seriously Kelley...SHUT UP....
Me:  Okay...porn...
....and then we talk about how porn is where people watch other people having sex...and then how it's not good cuz satan uses it to trick us to make us think that it's okay to watch and say that at least we're not having sex with people.  We had such a fabulous talk....one that surprises me every week cuz I have no clue what exactly is being said in the class, but a fabulous talk nonetheless.

To end my poopy night, I got the privilege of cutting #3's nails.  This doesn't happen often cuz I don't like to be yelled at continuously as I'm being kicked or hit.  It's just not a joy that I cherish.  So, after seeing his toenails, I knew it was time....and Hubby and #1 were at Fortify, so I was on my own....
Me:  It's time to cut your nails.
#3:  NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  DON'T CUT MY NAILS!!!!!!!
Me:  Listen, I can cut them now or I can have you go to bed now and cut them when you're asleep.
#3:  Fine.
....he gives me his hands and it goes pretty well.  I few times he pulls away so he screams bloody murder.....
Me:  Now it's time for your feet.
#3:  Okay.
.....yay!!!  The hands went so well that maybe he's warming up to this idea.....
#3:  OWWWW!  THAT HURTS!!!  I HATE YOU!!!!  NO MORE!!!!  DON'T HURT ME!!!!!  HELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!  I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!!!  I WANT DADDY!!!!!
....well that was after one toe......

Alrighty friends....I'm outta here....I'm hoping for a better day in our life by numbers!

Rare Breed

#2 is just like his momma.  There are many times that it makes me so incredibly proud....and then there are times where he's about to dive off the diving board and he makes this face with his lips and walks like a runway model acting silly, but like he has all the confidence in the world and the people around you say "wow...if that isn't Kelley, nothing is" and I think "we are gonna be in sooooo much trouble if he's already acting like me at eight years old".  Either way, I love this kid...but I do realize that if he's like me now, we are in for a long road with this kid.....like around 15 years old is gonna kill me.  

He came home after football practice and was bummed because of the position he got.....offensive tackle.  I read up a little on it and here is a quote from Hogs Haven on the attributes of a good offensive tackle....

"The offensive tackle position is one of the toughest to play in the NFL. It takes a rare breed of size, strength, technique, quickness and athleticism to succeed. Unlike their counterparts to the inside, the tackle HAS to be strong enough to move defensive ends and defensive tackles, quick enough to drop into his kick-slide against a speed-rusher, solid enough in his hands to deliver a jarring blow to a defender that will knock him off his pursuit path, and agile enough to work in space against a smaller linebacker or corner. They also often work against the opposing teams best pass rusher in one-on-one situations.

Yes, these big men a truly a rare breed!"

....you know what I'm thinking after reading this?  I DON'T WANT MY BABY PLAYING FOOTBALL!!!  Some of you might not know this, but #2 is built like a brick.  You know, small, but weighs a ton.  The kid is solid.  Maybe that's why he reminds me of me....solid, loud, a brick...he's like a mini-me.  Anyhoo, all his football life, he's wanted to be a quarterback.  He's built like a quarterback like I'm built like a supermodel....not gonna happen.  I read the above quote from Hogs Haven to him and he said "oh.....well.....maybe I'll be good at it".  Maybe?  MAYBE!?!?!?  Another reason he reminds me of me.....

Today we had a fabulous day with friends.  You know the type of friends I'm talking about....the ones that we keep saying we're gonna get together and we finally do and we give our #s the biggest lecture of their lives to be good, be respectful, be nice....and maybe we'll be invited back???  As soon as we get to their house, the #s start talking...
You have everything!
Can we live with you?
You have a gumball machine!
Can you build us a pool?
....why didn't we tell them NOT to talk!?!??!?  And then....something happened....I just felt at ease.  We talked, we laughed....we had a fabulous time!  And I can even say that the #s were very good for the most part!  :)  

So the #s are watching tv...getting ready for bed.....
#3:  Two people in the bathtub on tv!  TWO PEOPLE IN THE BATHTUB ON TV!!!
Me:  Turn off the tv!
#2:  It's just Friends.
Me:  Which is not appropriate for you to watch.
#2:  It's on Nick-At-Nite and I watch it.
Me:  Not anymore.
....and you know what my question is?  Why is a show that I watched all the time on Nick-At-Nite?!?!?!?!?!  I am getting old in our life by numbers!

Ice Cream for Dinner!??!!?

There is no tired like "getting ready to open up a church campus" tired.  I am completely exhausted...blessed, but exhausted!

First, we started our weekend with football practice at 7:30am.  Seriously....it's the weekend and I am not a morning person....but I braved the morning and was actually the second car to get to practice.  #2 wants to jump out of the car and start practicing....
#2:  Let's go!!!!  It's practice.
Me:  Listen.  I'm tired and I don't drink coffee....give me a minute.
....I mean, I'm not even one you wanna talk to in the morning.  I warm up about an hour after I wake up, but I'm pretty sure that on the weekends, it takes me two hours.

So #2 has this wonderful practice and then we head to Butler County.  We are ready for a work day at the church building.  I walked in and thought "unless there is a miracle, we will look absolutely awful tomorrow".  Things were everywhere.  I had to walk over things to get to other things.  I was heartbroken.  But you know what?  God DOES perform miracles and He truly did!  That building was READY for our practice run.  I mean room were cleaned, drawers had supplies, people had curriculum, the worship team had sound, the chairs had pockets....

OH WAIT....the chairs.  I'm telling you, I am very particular about things....I mean VERY.  I like things placed perfectly.  As a musician, people think it's strange that I'm organized and actually like to plan.  So you get a bunch of people that work on these chairs and you think it will be done quickly.  Every time I needed to ask someone and had to go into the auditorium, the chairs were either being moved or talked about.  I finally looked at Hubby and said "seriously....they are chairs....there is way too much to do".  And even this morning when looking at the auditorium, I looked at those chairs and thought "well, it was worth the three hours that was spent moving and talking about them cuz they look good"...except there are no back pockets...but that's a different story.....

This morning, we got up and we were in a panic....Hubby had to go get stuff out of his office, meet people at Starbucks to get stuff, get coffee from Starbucks cuz our coffee plug isn't in yet, and then come back to pick us up and head to Butler County!

We got to the building and it just felt weird....like, good weird.  We had our volunteers show up and we talked about going through the entire lesson, writing questions and needs down, and talking to us about things.  We've been calling this our "dry run" for months.  Well, it wasn't a dry run cuz one of our precious kiddos talked about wanting to accept Christ.  I mean, you can't call that a practice, right?!?!?!  Today was amazing!!!

I'm gonna get a little mushy......so hold on.....
I am so completely blessed.  One of my closest friends came to me and said that her and her husband can see how God has worked in our lives....how God has been in this plan for years....and how amazing it is.  I mean, God HAS been working on us.  We've been broken....oh so broken.  We've been hurt.  We've been used.  But through those valleys, we still relied on God.  In fact, God was the only place we could go because we were put in such isolation.  We didn't quit.  We didn't turn away.  We didn't say "see you God".  We knew there was no other option but to stay closer to God.  We kept close and close to our family.  We've been through job loss.  We've been through cancer.  We've been through the unknown with medical tests on #3.  We've been through big disappointments.  And my friend is right....through all that we've been through, God had a plan all along.  Such a marvelous plan and so much more than we ever thought it would be.  Our plan was mediocre compared to the plan that God has put before us.  And I'll tell you....as I look back at the pain, disappoints, heartaches, brokenness, and the unknown, I will say that I see how God worked.  I didn't see it all at the time, but God knew what he was doing....I'm just glad we followed His path and not our own.
....mushy segment over.

So tonight, the #'s begged Hubby to watch Star Wars Episode 4....
Me:  Okay....go take your shower and you all can watch the movie.
#s:  But we haven't had dinner yet!!!!
Me:  How in the world can you be hungry?!?!?  We just ate lunch.
#s:  We've GOT to have dinner!
Me:  Ice cream for dinner.
#s:  WHAT!??!!?
Me:  There's no way you're hungry....you can have ice cream for dinner.
#1:  Are you kidding?
Me:  No.
#1:  Who are you and where is my mom?
Me:  Do you want ice cream for dinner or not?
#s:  YES!!!!  YAY!!!!  ICE CREAM FOR DINNER!!!!!!!
....yeah, I am THAT exhausted.  So....goodnight from our life by numbers!

Horrible, Terrible Thing......

As I type this, I'm sad to say that #1 has officially gotten a quality from me that I'm not proud of.  You know what I'm talking about....the things you pray that your child won't receive from you...the things you've prayed against since you found out you're pregnant.  The thing that when you see your child do/have that quality, you immediately start to work on it.  It's not like I didn't see this coming.  I've known for a while.  Today confirmed that not only do I have this quality, but #1 is just as bad.  This thing...this horrible, terrible thing.....is.....forgetfulness.

Yes, I said it.  It's horrible.  All my life I've been forgetful.  I forget things at home, I forget where I put my keys, I forget the laundry that's been in the washer for two days, I forget where the remotes are, I forget where I put my keys, I forget to get out instruments, I forget to pay bills...did I mention I forget my keys?

And it kills me that I'm so forgetful...I really can't stand it.  I keep a paper calendar AND a calendar on my phone...and not only do I check it every day, I cross reference them to make sure I don't forget anything.  I also write post-it notes to myself for things that I need to at work or when I get home.  Right now I have three post-it notes sitting on my computer at work just so I won't forget to do something by the end of September.

So this week, #1 had a math project to do.  He worked on it throughout the week and finished it yesterday.  He was so proud of it and I was so proud that he got it finished without me hounding him about it.....I mean, he did get the paper LAST WEEK and didn't remember until Monday....but after that "grrrr" moment, he worked on it without complaint.

This morning, we ran out of the house....guess what we forgot?  Guess what we didn't remember until 11:34am....
Me:  (calling Hubby on the phone...in a PANIC)  Are you at home???!!?!??!
Hubby:  (calmly)  Yes.
Me:  #1 forgot his poster....can you check to see if it's where we keep the school stuff.
Hubby:  Yes.
Me:  Is it there?!??!?!
Hubby:  It's here.
Me:  How in the world are you so calm!??!!
Hubby:  When was math class?
Me:  I'm sure it's already past.
Hubby:  Want me to take it to him?
Me:  PLEASE!?!?!
Hubby:  Leaving now.  Love you!
.....now...this was AFTER I called him early this morning and asked him to bring me papers that were due today for #2's speech meeting that I completely forgot and was still sitting on the table....where are school stuff goes.  Maybe I need to move our school stuff???

When #1 got to me after school....
Me:  So...did you turn in your poster?
#1:  Yeah....when I was walking up to the office, I kept thinking "if this is my poster, I've already had math class".
Me:  But thank you for having Dad bring you your poster so you could go ahead and turn it in???
#1:  Yes....thank you.

And then I asked him the music mom question
Me:  How was your challenge test?
#1:  It was a tie.
Me:  A tie?!!?!?  There can be no tie!
#1:  I KNOW!  The only tie in music is a slur.
.....and that's the type of stuff that makes me glad he's like me...a tad bit competitive, loves music and can add a twist of sarcasm when needed.  I guess "forgetfulness" just comes with the big ball of positive that I gave him!

On the way home, the #s begged for me to pick them up something for dinner.  We decided to go to Sonic because #1 wanted tater tots....
#3:  I do not like those....I would rather have pizza.
#1:  Do you even know what tater tots are?
#3:  Yes....they are disgusting round balls that you like to eat.
......nothing says "yummy" like the term "disgusting round balls".

Hubby had a gig tonight and it just wasn't happening for us to go...and from the crowd that has shown up, it's probably a good thing we didn't go.  I can't imagine #3 around all those people.....you might not know this, but if #3 gets really mad, he lies to hide.

Anyhoo, after they ate and took their showers, they jumped in bed to watch tv and this is what I found....

....I'm pretty sure that this doesn't really help him get used to his helmet...unless he's going to lie on the ground on the football field and trip the other team which might be quite entertaining in our life by numbers!

The Saga Continues.....

Last night.....after I blogged.....when Hubby and #1 come home from Fortify (youth group)....

Hubby:  Did you have a conversation with #1 this morning?

Me:  Yes.....we talked about the sex class.

Hubby:  You know the only thing he pulled out of your conversation is that sex is when a husband and wife take off all of their clothes and roll around in the bed.

Me:  Well, that's all he took from it cuz that's all I said.

Hubby:  Well I fixed it a little.

Me:  What did you say?

Hubby:  I said sex is amazing and gave him the science about how it makes you feel good and stuff.

Me:  YOU SAID WHAT?!?!?!!?

Hubby:  I said it was amazing and that he will want to do it but he needs to wait until he's married.

Me:  WE HAVE TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF PARENTING AND YOURS SUCK.

Hubby:  I don't want  him to be scared of sex.

Me:  WELL I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK ABOUT IT AT ALL!!!!

.....I then go to #1 and we sit on the bed and talk...

Me:  So....do you have any questions about your class?

#1:  No.....Dad and I talked. 

Me:  Okay......so....tell me about the class.

#1:  For this class, we talked about the pros and cons of having sex.

Me:  PROS.....(calming down)....pros and cons?

#1:  There was only one pro and that was to have a baby.

Me:  HAVE A (calming down again)....have a baby?  How is that a pro?

#1:  After talking to Dad, it's not a pro.  I mean....you have to feed and buy clothes for a baby.  But I didn't put that as a pro....I put nothing.

Me:  Great....and were there any cons?

#1:  I said that sex would hurt us emotionally and physically.

Me:  (thinking....WHAT?!??!?  how would he know/think that) That's a good one.  You know, you can get diseases from having sex with lots of different people.

#1:  What do you mean?

Me:  Well, if one starts having sex in junior high school then more than likely they are going to have sex with a few people....all through junior high and high school.

#1:  WHAT?!?!??!?!  YOU MEAN THAT THEY WOULDN'T STAY TOGETHER FOREVER!?!?!?

Me:  Usually not....

#1:  Well I've decided I don't want to have sex.  

Me:  Sounds good to me!!!!!!!

.......I just can't wait until next Wednesday when we have the second class....written with complete sarcasm......

#2 had football tonight....which means #2 will do anything I tell him because I get to say "do you WANT to do football today".  It's the little things in life which makes things easier in our house.  :-)  The kid wouldn't take a nap...which he needed badly...but wanted to put on his cleats at 3:30pm (yes, for a 5:15pm practice).  We finally got all of his reading complete, shoes changed, room cleaned, board wiped...yes, I DO use this little bit of information to help make my life easier....and my room cleaner!  

Since we had football today which means we stayed extra long at school (like until 4:45pm) to finish homework so we don't go all the way home and back and waste all that gas.  Today was the last day this week to work on spelling for #3.  At the beginning of the week, #3 and I sit down and talk about the three homework assignments that he's going to do.  It's cool cuz he gets to choose from nine choices....and one of those is a "creative free choice".  He did a word search, he did a recipe and he decided that he was going to write her an e-mail.  But today was different....for some reason he thinks he HAS to do the creative choice.  Maybe it's just a WANT to do the creative choice....but the kid is creative and wants to top each creative choice that he does the week before.  And here is what he looked like right before we left the school and headed to football practice....

....we sure are creative in our life by numbers!  

Did We Forget!?!?!??!

......looks like this will be a regular picture around our house for a few months.  #2 is doing homework at the kitchen counter....
#2:  WHY do I have to wear this?
Me:  Because your head needs to practice holding this helmet up.
#2:  But I don't want to wear it...it hurts my head.
Me:  That's the point....you need the practice.
#2:  This is so heavy.
Me:  Your coach wrote me a text telling you to wear your helmet for practice.
#2: What?!?!?  Coach said that?
Me:  Yes.
#2:  Okay....whatever Coach says.
.....I'm beginning to think I need the title of "Coach".  I don't want to coach anything....I just need the title!


On the way to school this morning, I remembered that the "sex class" was starting at school......

Me: Sooooo....that special class might be starting today.
#1: Oh yeah?
Me: Just remember that ANY questions you have, Dad or I will be glad to answer them.
#1: Well, I DO have one question.
Me: Okay?
#1: You know, we've talked about it....not doing it, it's for moms and dads....
Me: Yes?
#1: But what exactly IS sex? What do you do and how does it work?

....now, remember, I'm driving an automobile at this point....in traffic....during morning work/school hours.  My stomach turns into knots, I start sweating, my tongue is swelling, and #1 is looking at me.  His face is full of innocence, his eyes are inquisitive, his heart is in the right place.....

Me:  Well....it's when a mom and dad take all of their clothes off and roll around in the bed.  

.....SERIOUSLY DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD....and #1 is completely silent....

Me:  It's for two people that are married.  It's something that God created for two people that are married. You don't do it if you're not married.  

#1:  Well that just sounds weird.  Do you and Dad do that?

Me:  Just remember that the class isn't going to be God based....it's not going to be about what the Bible says....so if you have questions, come talk to me or Dad.  Just write your questions down and bring them home.  

#1:  Okay....I'll talk to you and Dad if I have questions....I can't imagine talking to some stranger at school about this. 

....did you notice how I totally danced around the last question?  It was nice to be in the parking lot at this time and his next comment was....

#1:  I can't wait until I find out when pep band rehearsal is!!!!!  I am so excited to be in the pep band. 

....thank you Jesus for making him focus on something else!!!!!

Tonight as we're getting ready for showers....

#3:  I can't wait to take a bath!  I want to see if my car really drives on the water.

#2:  Well I'm taking my shower first so you'll have to wait. 

#3:  That's okay, I'm just so excited!

#2:  Hey....I've got a great idea!  

#3:  What?

#2:  Why don't you try it in the toilet?  If it drives in the toilet then it will drive in the tub!

Me:  #2!!!!!!!!!

#2:  I'm just trying to help my dear brother out.

Me:  Get in the shower and stop helping your brother!  

....it is NEVER dull in our life by numbers!