I Thought This Day Would Never Come

The setting:  An elementary school
The characters:  Elementary Kiddos
The conflict: The last day before fall break
The solution: 2:50pm
....it was a crazy day in the land of elementary kiddos.  From the beginning of the day, you could tell that everybody was living for 2:50pm.  We had a fun day in the land of elementary kiddos, but it might just be the longest day in history.  My 30 minutes classes seemed to be like 45 minutes...even my lunch break seemed extra long.  As I taught my last class, the kiddos were laying all over the floor.  They looked like wet noodles in a bowl of spaghetti....all slowly moving and limp.  But then the time came......2:50pm.  As I walked out the door to my last meeting of the nine weeks, teachers were giving each other "high fives"....I mean, 2:50pm was like the bell for dinner, the checkered flag at a race, the winning touchdown at a football game.  It was absolutely the most needed time for all of us today....and at the end of the day, we would all come back tomorrow....cuz we're in it for the kiddos.

This week has been rough due to #1 being sick.....and my precious Hubby took off two days to let #1 stay home.  It always amazes me how hard the #s fall when they're sick.  It's not a "okay, I don't feel well, but I'll keep on trucking'"....it's more like "I'm dying and I need you to make out my eulogy" type sickness.  #1 did stay in bed for almost 24 hours, so we knew something was wrong.  As #3 would say "good luck #1 felt better to go on his field trip today".......I mean, I KNOW the teachers absolutely LOVED that #1 missed two days worth of work and then showed up for the fun stuff.  Don't all teachers love that?!?!!?!  :-)

I will say that as I drove #1 to school today, I was very excited....
Me:  So, you know the class is today.
#1:  WAIT....is that what the field trip is about?!?!!?
Me:  Oh that's right....you DO have a field trip.  Surely they're not taking the sex teacher with you all.
#1:  Maybe she's going to teach us about sex in the great outdoors.
....I'm pretty sure this is where my blood pressure went sky high.  The only things I was thinking were:
*what if they DO take the sex teacher?
*what if they teach about animals?
*what if they see two animals having sex?
*what if they actually use the "birds and bees" story?
*what if there are more questions today......it's fall break....I don't want to answer sex questions.
Me:  I'm pretty sure it's just a field trip.
#1:  Yeah, you're probably right.
...you know what else makes me happy about fall break?  The sex class is OVER!!!!!!!

It was a battle of the wills.  Momma's will against a seven year old's will.  As we sat at the table, he cried, I cried.  He yelled, I yelled.  He rolled his eyes, I rolled my eyes.  He did everything to get out of eating lasagna.....he moved, he danced, he sat on my shoulders...but I stood strong.  Hubby was waiting on the sidelines ready to reward him with a piece of bread.  Bribery.  Whatever works for the kid to put the lasagna bite in his mouth.  It's not like he doesn't like lasagna....he loves it.  But today, he hated it.  Hated it so much that he sat at the table an extra 30 minutes as we battled.  The bread is now on the table and I've threatened to lick and eat it.  JUST EAT THE STINKIN' BIT OF LASAGNA!!!!  Finally, I counted backwards from 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...BIT TAKEN....and then he just left it in his mouth.  YOU HAVE TO CHEW CHILD!!!!!!  3...2...1...SWALLOWED!  And he swallowed.  It was gone.  The battle was over....but the war hasn't been won in our life by numbers!