Did We Forget!?!?!??!

......looks like this will be a regular picture around our house for a few months.  #2 is doing homework at the kitchen counter....
#2:  WHY do I have to wear this?
Me:  Because your head needs to practice holding this helmet up.
#2:  But I don't want to wear it...it hurts my head.
Me:  That's the point....you need the practice.
#2:  This is so heavy.
Me:  Your coach wrote me a text telling you to wear your helmet for practice.
#2: What?!?!?  Coach said that?
Me:  Yes.
#2:  Okay....whatever Coach says.
.....I'm beginning to think I need the title of "Coach".  I don't want to coach anything....I just need the title!


On the way to school this morning, I remembered that the "sex class" was starting at school......

Me: Sooooo....that special class might be starting today.
#1: Oh yeah?
Me: Just remember that ANY questions you have, Dad or I will be glad to answer them.
#1: Well, I DO have one question.
Me: Okay?
#1: You know, we've talked about it....not doing it, it's for moms and dads....
Me: Yes?
#1: But what exactly IS sex? What do you do and how does it work?

....now, remember, I'm driving an automobile at this point....in traffic....during morning work/school hours.  My stomach turns into knots, I start sweating, my tongue is swelling, and #1 is looking at me.  His face is full of innocence, his eyes are inquisitive, his heart is in the right place.....

Me:  Well....it's when a mom and dad take all of their clothes off and roll around in the bed.  

.....SERIOUSLY DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD....and #1 is completely silent....

Me:  It's for two people that are married.  It's something that God created for two people that are married. You don't do it if you're not married.  

#1:  Well that just sounds weird.  Do you and Dad do that?

Me:  Just remember that the class isn't going to be God based....it's not going to be about what the Bible says....so if you have questions, come talk to me or Dad.  Just write your questions down and bring them home.  

#1:  Okay....I'll talk to you and Dad if I have questions....I can't imagine talking to some stranger at school about this. 

....did you notice how I totally danced around the last question?  It was nice to be in the parking lot at this time and his next comment was....

#1:  I can't wait until I find out when pep band rehearsal is!!!!!  I am so excited to be in the pep band. 

....thank you Jesus for making him focus on something else!!!!!

Tonight as we're getting ready for showers....

#3:  I can't wait to take a bath!  I want to see if my car really drives on the water.

#2:  Well I'm taking my shower first so you'll have to wait. 

#3:  That's okay, I'm just so excited!

#2:  Hey....I've got a great idea!  

#3:  What?

#2:  Why don't you try it in the toilet?  If it drives in the toilet then it will drive in the tub!

Me:  #2!!!!!!!!!

#2:  I'm just trying to help my dear brother out.

Me:  Get in the shower and stop helping your brother!  

....it is NEVER dull in our life by numbers!