We Laugh Cuz We Don't Want To Cry

We do a lot of celebrating in our family.....I mean, all kinds of things from grades to football games to advancements.   When #3 was in PT and OT, we would celebrate if he made it through the full two hours.  When #2 was in football (which is just around the corner again), we would celebrate after the game whether his team won or lost.   When #1 was having trouble in 2nd grade and it was taking him so long to finish homework, we would celebrate if he got it done in a certain amount of time.  We just want to promote a positive environment, but also do it as a family.....by going out to eat or having family movie night at home or even just having ice cream sundaes.  Nothing huge, but we have fun. 

Well, we have a huge celebration this week....it's #3's birthday.  See.....#3 was a surprise.  One of those "you were on fertility medicine with the first two kiddos and you can't possibly have any children without those drugs so no worries about birth control and then find out you're pregnant 11 months later" kind-of things.  #3 has had some issues ever since we found out I was pregnant...started with him having an enlarged kidney which was something we had to watch throughout the pregnancy.  I'll be honest, I blamed myself for a lot of #3's issues for the first few years of his life (and at times, those "blaming" thoughts still creep in my mind) cuz I cried for three months.  I mean, sobbing for three months.  I didn't know how in the world we were going to afford a third child or what life was going to be like.  This was so outside of my plan since we had already come to the conclusion that we couldn't afford fertility medicine or adoption for another child.  When I got over the shock, that's when we found out that we had to watch his kidneys.  I mean, we JUST had #2 and had to watch a heart valve during that pregnancy....so I just didn't know what life was throwing at us. 

And #3's life hasn't been easy.  He didn't talk until he was three years old.....and before that was complete gibberish....complete.  He fell a lot as a child....enough times that I was worried about all the bruises all over his body....sadly, I even put longs pants and long sleeve shirts on him so people wouldn't see the bruises.  Many....MANY....tests were performed and many PT and OT visits were made and he was diagnosed with hypotonia....that's where you have low muscle tone....that's the reason he was falling all the time.  And he fell enough that he hurt his two front teeth and had to have surgery. 

#3 has had many tests run in his seven years and we've visited many hospitals.  The Medical Center was fabulous with #3 and did tests that the doctors would request at a moments notice.  Kosair was fantastic in scheduling us for our overnight tests and making sure he had bread and cheese and strawberries for all of his meals.  The Amen Clinic was amazing in looking at his brain and showing us how his brain works.....and why #3 works the way he does. 

We've celebrated all of these things...all of these times...all of these visits.....the good and the bad.  We had to celebrate to keep our family together.  There have been very many times where we wanted to drown in our sorrows, but we didn't.  We celebrated that we either knew something else that we needed to help #3 with or that we ruled out a diagnosis. 

We celebrated the finally getting a diagnosis that he has a social anxiety disorder.  I will never forget...
Doctor:  Yes, he's got an anxiety disorder....but that's about as obvious as saying that this bear (and points to a teddy bear in the room) is black.  We know he's got it....it doesn't change anything.
......and she was right.  I mean, he even says he doesn't like people, doesn't want to go to new places, hates change.....it's not like the diagnosis was going to change anything.  

I remember crying while #3 and I headed home from Kosair as the word "Tourette Syndrome" kept running through my head.  I'll never forget the doctor that came in to talk to me about it and he said "Please don't look it up online because it will scare you....there are many resources, but you need to find the right ones....and only about 5% of people with Tourette Syndrome will randomly curse".  I remember thinking "with our luck, he's in the 5%".  Can you imagine in the middle of church him shouting "AMEN" with a choice word in between the syllable?!?!?!?!

And when the diagnosis of ADD came about, well, that really didn't phase us either.  We know he can't concentrate.  It takes him forever to do anything. 

I will say the Oppositional Defiant Disorder did a number on us.....
Doctor:  What are you thinking?
Me:  I thought he was just mean. 
......and I know that he's not just mean....but he does like things his way or the highway. 

As I look through old pictures of #3's life, I realize that this little guy has gone through so much in his seven years of life.  No child should have to endure all the needles that he's had in his body or have that many doctors on his mommy's contact list.....like their cell phones numbers, not just their office numbers.  I look at this little guy and see the love of Jesus in his heart....probably more than most people I know.  He has seen and talked (well, first it was gibberish) to angels his entire life.  He tells me that he talks to God all the time....
Me:  Do you ever see God's face?
#3:  No....I could never see the face of God until I die and go to heaven.
.....what six year old talks like that??!?!?!

So....there's #3 and his story (the very quick version, no doubt).  So back to his birthday....

We told him that I have a meeting until 4:15pm on Wednesday and Hubby has Fortify at 5pm.  He was so upset.....
#3:  But it's my birthday!  We need to celebrate!
Hubby:  Well, we've got meetings and youth group.  What if we celebrate Monday or Tuesday?
#3:  But that's NOT my birthday!  My birthday is Wednesday!
.....so I'm taking him to Chick-Fil-A on Wednesday....and we're going to celebrate his lunch tomorrow after church...and sometime this week there will be presents!  We've got a lot to do!  :-)

I really do love this child.  I won't lie...it's been a long 7 years.  I've cried a lot in the last 7 years, but I've also laughed a lot.  I've had strangers tell me I'm parenting wrong....I've even had someone tell me that a "good spankin' would fix that kid" as #3 is on the floor of the hospital having a meltdown.  We've prayed more since #3 as been born.  We've trusted God more in the last 7 years.  We've yelled at God more in the last 7 years.  And we've rested in the arms of Jesus more in the last 7 years. 

To make life even funnier, God had him born on my 31st birthday...I always said that I didn't want to birth kiddos after I was 30.  So as I'm secretly celebrating my 38th birthday on Wednesday, we'll be partying all week to celebrate #3's 7th birthday.  So happy birthday #3.....




I have realized in life that God is really funny....I'm glad cuz I really do like to laugh in our life by numbers!