Let's Get this Wedding Started.....

Don't get me wrong....I LOVE the people that get married...but I'm just not good at weddings.  I critique all the music.  I judge the dresses.  I time the wedding.  It's just not good for anybody.  It got worse when I had kids.  I'd dress them up in uncomfortable clothes and tell them to be quiet for an entire 30 minutes.....and if we went to one of my Catholic family weddings.....then I had to explain why we weren't speaking in English and why the service was lasting so long.

Until today, the last wedding that I can vividly remember attending with my #s is one of my family members.  #3 wasn't talking all that much and would randomly scream to get my attention.  Nothing like taking that to a wedding, huh?  As we're talking to family members and getting ready to take our seat, we remind the #s that they can sit for a bit and afterwards, they can have all the cake they can possibly stuff in their mouth.  They were excited, we were excited....we were one big excited family!

So the wedding party walks down the aisle, the mood is set, the prayer is being said and the next thing I hear is "EHHHH".  I am thinking "surely #3 didn't just scream....in the middle of a prayer".  Again the "EHHHHH".  I look at Hubby and he looks at me.  #1 and #2 are about to lose it.  Their cheeks are puffed out with laughter about to burst out of their lips.  They are shaking uncontrollably....just trying to hold it in.  "EHHHHH".  They lose it.  I give the "if you make any more sounds I would take your vocal chords out of your throat" look and they quickly try to gain their composure.  Hubby looks at me and smiles and volunteers to take #3 out by stretching out his arms.  Oh no.....I'm the one that can't stand weddings...I'm going.  I pick up #3 "EHHHHH".  Seriously kid, please stop trying to get my attention....you have it and we're leaving.  "EHHHHHH".

So I go into the "Cry Room".  It's located just outside the door to the auditorium.  I walk in the room and close the door.  There are three glider rockers, no toys.  I don't go into many cry rooms because I usually just leave my screaming child in the Sunday School class and run.  So as I'm looking around, I'm thinking that this just doesn't look like a cry room....but it will work.  "EHHHHHH".  I don't try to keep #3 quiet.....I'm in a soundproof cry room.  "EHHHHHH".  Keep talking kid.  You won't bother me now.  "EHHHHHH".  As I'm looking through the window watching the ceremony, "EHHHHH".....I look and see #1 and #2 shaking.  What is so funny?  "EHHHHH"  Seriously, why are they...."EHHHHH".  Wait....can they hear #3?  "EHHHHH"  The shaking from #1 and #2 continue and Hubby looks back.  "EHHHHH"  The next thing out of my mouth is "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD #3....THIS ROOM ISN'T SOUNDPROOF...THEY CAN HEAR YOU".  "EHHHHHH" And #2 and #3 lose it.  Hubby turns around and smiles.  Oh yeah, they can hear me too.

Needless to say, weddings just aren't my thing....but today's wedding was between two very special people that my family absolutely ADORES...we had to go to this one!  We couldn't miss it!!!  I met some wonderful people, rekindled friendships, shared my Hubby as the pastor, and brought along the #s.  We started off with not having this battle....we just let him wear it.....there's nothing like Mr. Incredible attending a wedding.

 And then if that isn't enough, he decided that he didn't want to wear it anymore....luckily there were clothes under that costume.  The wedding was beautiful....it was outside and the wind was blowing.  Hubby performed the ceremony for our fabulous friends....so he was up front.  The #s were sitting in the back row....and I was standing in the back.  We could at least head them off if they went to the front or the back....if they went to either side, we were in trouble.

During the ceremony, #3 started rocking in a non-rocking chair.  I could not deal with screaming today...so I quietly told him he could move....so he danced in front of a tree.  After the wedding, I looked and all three #s are stuffing the leftover bubbles down their pants....yes, down their pants.  The only thing I could think of is "we made it through"....I mean "they're married".  :)  I looked at the #s and smiled and then heard "EHHHHH" and crying.  Time. To. Go. 

So....please don't be offended if I don't come to your wedding or we leave soon after it is over.  Be prepared for a picture with a superhero or see some of the #s have party favors stuffed in their pants.  And if we do get to stay, make sure you have enough cake so they can have three platefuls...and a cook that miraculously has bread and cheese for my picky eater.  And be prepared to have a story...a story to tell for a lifetime....cuz I sure do with our life with numbers!