I've Lost the Mercy Gene

I'm missing the mercy gene...like, seriously, it's not anywhere on me.  I'm pretty sure most people have mercy...even if it's a small part...but for some reason, mine is just missing.  Maybe it's from how I grew up, maybe it's from all that I've been through in life, maybe it's from just not been given that gene...but whatever it is, it's not here.  

Why do I bring this up?  Why does it matter?  Cuz my merciless self has come in strong since becoming a football mom.  Don't get me wrong, my heart drops when I see my kiddos on the field.  I catch myself with fists clinched and teeth grinding as the #s are in practice.  And anybody that messes with my boys are on a mental list...most get off by helping the #s on the next play or two.  

But the mercy goes away when I talk to the #s at football.  I get frustrated when they don't tackle correctly or make a play right the first time.  My philosophy is that if they wanted so badly to play this game, then they might as well play it right and not waste time.  And to be honest, I'm slightly competitive so I want them to do everything THE BEST.  I quite aware that it's not the NFL...but maybe one day...

So tonight...for the 4th time in three practices, #3 has come off the field crying about something not going right.  Unfortunately, I don't know about the first two times cuz I wasn't at that practice, but the last two have been doozies.  I remember the first time #2 came off the field crying about his helmet...I was frustrated and telling him to get over it and then one of the coaches looked at it and said that he probably needs a bigger helmet...so I felt like a idiot, but the kid DID play the rest of that practice with a helmet smaller than his actual head.  

With this being the 4th year that #2 has been playing football, I feel like I'm kind-of a relaxed football mom.  I bring my chair to the field and I set it away from everybody.  Why?  So I can talk to myself and watch how my kiddos are playing.  I sip my water and soak in the sun and feel the breeze and watch practice.  I'm going on my 4th year of doing this...this year should be easy.  But then we added #3 to football.

Read this carefully...I begged and bribed #3 not to play football.  I even offered him $250 to not play, but he wanted to so badly.  #2 begged for #3 not to play and then even tried to get me to talk him out of it....
#2:  Please don't let him play.

Me:  I'm trying.

#2:  He's just going to get hurt. 

Me:  He'll have to learn honey.

#2:  You don't understand...he's gonna get hurt...kids are gonna make fun of him...and I'm going to get frustrated.  What am I supposed to do?

Me:  You are supposed to love your brother and stick up for him.  If ANYBODY makes fun of him, you see what #3 does about it and then you can stick up for him.  You're his brother.  

#2:  I don't want to see him get hurt.  

Me:  He'll be fine.  
So on to #3....let me preface this by saying that I know my son.  When he's upset and just can't handle it anymore, if the wind touched him wrong, he would break down.  That's what happened the first time...overwhelmed, upset about being overwhelmed and suddenly, he thinks he broke his finger.  How did he "break" his finger...beats me.  Maybe the wind? Maybe the grass poked it?  Not. A. Clue.  

Here comes the merciless me...
Me:  Why are you crying?


#3:  I broke my finger.


Me:  No you didn't.


#3:  Yes I did.


Me:  Let me see it...can you bend it?


#3:  No.


Me:  Yes you can...look.


#3:  But it hurts.  


Me:  You're fine.  Get out there and play football.  You signed up for this and you're gonna finish it through.  


#3:  But I'm struggling.  I'm not the best. 


Me:  No...you're not.  There is and will ALWAYS be somebody better than you...so be like them...now go play football.  

He goes back out on the field and plays.  All the while, I know that parents are looking at me like "she is so awful".  It's okay...I've been called worse.  

So after this ordeal, I decided to pep the #s up a little with a talk before each game...
Me:  Repeat after me...I am strong


#s:  I am strong.


Me:  I am tough.


#s:  I am tough.


Me:  I am good enough to play football.

#s:  I am good enough to play football.

Me:  I will not cry unless there is a bone sticking out of my body.

#s:  I will not cry unless there is a bone sticking out of my body.  
...yes, THIS is what we repeat all the way from our elementary school to the football field.  Over and over and over. 
So another thing about #3 is that he is a rule follower...and if someone doesn't follow the rules, then he is not happy.  As much as he is defiant and would break a rule himself just because he wants to, he doesn't want anybody else to break a rule and will be distraught if they do.  So today here comes #3 walking off the field with snot coming out of his nose and tears streaming down his face...
Me:  What's the matter?


#3:  He's cheating.  People aren't doing what the coaches say and it's frustrating because that means I can't do what I'm supposed to do.


Me:  Everybody is learning how to play this game.  You have GOT to stop crying every time something does go as YOU planned or you'll be crying every practice and game.  


#3:  But you don't understand...


Me: I DO understand and you need to suck it up cuz everybody tries to win and if you keep crying over someone doing something to you, they're gonna think you're weak and tackle you till you bleed...and then you'll really be crying.  


#3:  But...


Me:  NO BUTS....GET OUT THERE AND TAKE YOUR FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON THE FIELD....NOW!


#3:  Yes ma'am.  
...of course, I look around and there are parents just staring at me.  I'm sure that between the crying and me talking like that to him and then them hearing that he has Tourette Syndrome, SAD, ODD, and ADD, they think I'm a mom that needs to have some people from the state visit her.  

As soon we #2 gets off the field to get water...
#2:  I TOLD you this would happen.  I TOLD you that he would get frustrated.  I TOLD you he would get hurt.  

Me:  I get it...hush and get some water.  

My evening has consisted of talking to #3 about tonight...
Me:  Honey, I love you.

#3:  I love you too.

Me:  Yes, I love you...but if you keep crying on the field, I'm gonna have to spank you.

#3:  WHAT!?!?!?!?

Me:  You have got to toughen up...and I don't know how else to tell you.

#3:  I'm trying mommy...and I love you so much that I'll try even harder.  
...yes, for most parents that would be heartbreaking...but remember, I've lost the mercy gene...
Me:  Yeah, I'm gonna need you to really try harder, not just tell me...show me.  

I'm not all heartless...I did hug #3 and then he asked me if I would snuggle with him tonight after his bath.  And of course...that's gonna happen...I mean, how could I resist this face...

...and so all is right in the world...until our first game on Saturday...in our Life By Numbers!