Worst Mother of the Year

The picture above shows a very sad #2 who is extremely disappointed in his dad and mom....or "father and mother" as he said this afternoon.  I know it's bad when he uses proper names like that....and it was bad.  He got out of the car and slowly walked up the driveway with his head down. Let's rewind to last week.....

Me:  Why are you crying?
#2:  Cuz when I was in the 2nd grade, you didn't go to Safety City OR the Hot Rods ballgame with me.
Me:  Honey...I was working last year and couldn't get off and Daddy was working at WKU and he was out of town both times.  
#2:  But he went with #1 and now he's going with #3 and he didn't go with me.  
Me:  But look at all we GET to go to....football games, basketball games, soccer games....and we get to go with you to things now.  If you have a field trip that we can go to, one of us will go!
#2:  It's not the same.  I loved both of those things and I didn't get to share them with you.
.....secretly, I was praying that he wouldn't mention that he's the middle kid.  We've done so much to make sure he's not left out, forgotten, tossed aside, or felt like the middle kid didn't get what the others got.

The guilt eventually went away and then came back in full force today.  Full force....fast and furious.

I see #2 running at Run Club.  I wave at him and he looks at me and then looks away.  I'm pretty sure that he doesn't say anything cuz he's in the moment....the moment of competition.  The moment of focus.  I don't think much of it until after Run Club.  He walks in front of me as he goes to get water from the water fountain as he says.....
#2:  Well, somebody forgot about coming to see me get my AR award today.  
....and then he gets water and walks off.  Thank you imaginary knife in my heart and brick wall that I just ran into.....
Me:  #2....I am SO SORRY!  I got the e-mail, but I forwarded it to Dad and I forgot to remind him.  I'm so sorry!
#2:  Just seems like nobody wants to be with me....the second child.  
.....seriously the knife is still turning in my heart.  I am mortified.  I am ticked at myself.  I am thankful that he didn't say the "middle child".

I called Hubby and he completely forgot.  The apology from Hubby didn't help either.  All the way home I tried to get #2 to laugh...to smile...to look at me.  I offered cheesecake.  I offered ice cream.  I got nothing.  He just sat in the seat and did his homework and didn't speak.  I was heartbroken.

We got home and you see how he walked up the driveway.....slow....with his head down....with no bounce in his step.  It was the saddest thing I'd seen today.  He took out the dog and then walked outside to shoot hoops.  #3 came out to play with him and I stayed out there.  Then I saw it.  I saw him smiling.  He was laughing.  He asked me to keep score and call fouls.  By the end, we were all smiling and laughing and having fun...and #2 was back to his competitive self and giving high fives and hugs.

Maybe I didn't win the "Worst Mother of the Year" award....maybe just the "You Disappointed Me Today Mom" award....it's just as heartbreaking, but it doesn't last an entire year.  Instead, you get a dash of sadness, pain in your heart, tears in your eyes, but eventually, you get a few high fives, hugs, books read to you, laughter, jokes, and a sweet "goodnight" hug and kiss as our day comes to a close in our life by numbers!