I Thought This Day Would Never Come

The setting:  An elementary school
The characters:  Elementary Kiddos
The conflict: The last day before fall break
The solution: 2:50pm
....it was a crazy day in the land of elementary kiddos.  From the beginning of the day, you could tell that everybody was living for 2:50pm.  We had a fun day in the land of elementary kiddos, but it might just be the longest day in history.  My 30 minutes classes seemed to be like 45 minutes...even my lunch break seemed extra long.  As I taught my last class, the kiddos were laying all over the floor.  They looked like wet noodles in a bowl of spaghetti....all slowly moving and limp.  But then the time came......2:50pm.  As I walked out the door to my last meeting of the nine weeks, teachers were giving each other "high fives"....I mean, 2:50pm was like the bell for dinner, the checkered flag at a race, the winning touchdown at a football game.  It was absolutely the most needed time for all of us today....and at the end of the day, we would all come back tomorrow....cuz we're in it for the kiddos.

This week has been rough due to #1 being sick.....and my precious Hubby took off two days to let #1 stay home.  It always amazes me how hard the #s fall when they're sick.  It's not a "okay, I don't feel well, but I'll keep on trucking'"....it's more like "I'm dying and I need you to make out my eulogy" type sickness.  #1 did stay in bed for almost 24 hours, so we knew something was wrong.  As #3 would say "good luck #1 felt better to go on his field trip today".......I mean, I KNOW the teachers absolutely LOVED that #1 missed two days worth of work and then showed up for the fun stuff.  Don't all teachers love that?!?!!?!  :-)

I will say that as I drove #1 to school today, I was very excited....
Me:  So, you know the class is today.
#1:  WAIT....is that what the field trip is about?!?!!?
Me:  Oh that's right....you DO have a field trip.  Surely they're not taking the sex teacher with you all.
#1:  Maybe she's going to teach us about sex in the great outdoors.
....I'm pretty sure this is where my blood pressure went sky high.  The only things I was thinking were:
*what if they DO take the sex teacher?
*what if they teach about animals?
*what if they see two animals having sex?
*what if they actually use the "birds and bees" story?
*what if there are more questions today......it's fall break....I don't want to answer sex questions.
Me:  I'm pretty sure it's just a field trip.
#1:  Yeah, you're probably right.
...you know what else makes me happy about fall break?  The sex class is OVER!!!!!!!

It was a battle of the wills.  Momma's will against a seven year old's will.  As we sat at the table, he cried, I cried.  He yelled, I yelled.  He rolled his eyes, I rolled my eyes.  He did everything to get out of eating lasagna.....he moved, he danced, he sat on my shoulders...but I stood strong.  Hubby was waiting on the sidelines ready to reward him with a piece of bread.  Bribery.  Whatever works for the kid to put the lasagna bite in his mouth.  It's not like he doesn't like lasagna....he loves it.  But today, he hated it.  Hated it so much that he sat at the table an extra 30 minutes as we battled.  The bread is now on the table and I've threatened to lick and eat it.  JUST EAT THE STINKIN' BIT OF LASAGNA!!!!  Finally, I counted backwards from 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...BIT TAKEN....and then he just left it in his mouth.  YOU HAVE TO CHEW CHILD!!!!!!  3...2...1...SWALLOWED!  And he swallowed.  It was gone.  The battle was over....but the war hasn't been won in our life by numbers!

What a Weekend!

If you need to hear a fabulous sermon about being overwhelmed, you need to listen to today's sermon at www.crossland.tv.  This sermon punched me in the stomach, hit me in the head and then took my feet right from under me.  It's about how we need to slow down.  God told us to rest.  God expects us to rest.  We also need to understand that God is very powerful and can change our circumstances, but we need His presence more than we need for Him to change what is going on in our lives.  When Elijah was running from the threat of Jezebel, God told him to rest. When Elijah rested and ate and rested again, the circumstances stayed the same, but Elijah was in the presence of God.  If you don't have time to take a nap, you're too busy....and so today, I took a nap.  Seriously, you've got to listen to this sermon...it's amazing!

My weekend started with a trip to the doctor.  It was a scheduled appointment...one to go over why my blood pressure is so high even on medicine.  After this appointment, I ended up scheduling blood work, an EKG and an ultrasound.  I do have to get tested for hemochromatosis...my mom has it, my uncle has it......and apparently high blood pressure and these horrible headaches could be a symptom for this.  I mean, I needed something else to worry about, right?  I will say that my doctor is fabulous and I know that he'll make sure I'm okay.....he's got to, I teach his kiddos!  

So I had a meeting after the doctor's appointment and brought dinner home after the meeting....

#2: I thought you were eating dinner at your meeting.
Me: I just couldn't eat cuz I wanted to concentrate so I brought it home to eat.
#2: Where is it?
Me: Right here.
#2: That's a salad.
Me: Yes.
#2: You mean to tell me they fed you salad for dinner?
Me: Yes.
#2: That's ridiculous.

.....he was so stinkin' serious.  I'm guessing I need to remember that in the future, #2 needs meat!  

On Saturday, #2 had football.  It was rainy and cool, but such a good game.  I love watching #2 so passionate about something.  We were rushing to get ready and when we were at the game, I noticed that #3 was wearing this.....

.....how did we let him out of the house lookin' like that?!?!?!?  Gotta love this kid's style....it's all his own!

We did go to Sam's Club after we ate lunch....
Guy:  Hello folks!  Have you heard about our special just for Sam's Club Members?
Me:  Is this with satellite tv?  
Guy:  YES!!!
Me:  Yes, we've heard it. 
#1:  That's when we got cable!
.....it doesn't matter how many times I think about this....I still laugh!!!!

Please pray a special prayer for #1....he doesn't feel very good tonight and has been in bed since 4pm.  Poor little guy only has three days of school this week......I hope he can make it.  Nobody wants to be sick in our life by numbers.  

I've Been Trying to Teach You That for Years!

#2: So I learned how to tie my shoe today.
Me: Honey, I've been trying to teach you for three years. Who taught you today?
#2: I just decided it was time to learn and so I did it. It was time Mom....I AM growing up.

....Seriously, the kid sat down and tied his shoe.  I just looked at him.  I mean, we've been trying to get him to sit down and learn to tie his shoes for years.  I even told him that he had to learn it before he left kindergarten....did you know that they don't hold kiddos back for not being able to tie their shoe?!?!? 

Me:  Who in the world taught you how to tie your shoe today?
#2:  Ummmm...NOBODY.  I just sat down and tied it.
Me:  NOBODY taught you?  NOBODY took time out of their lives to show you the bunny ears?  NOBODY has spent countless hours trying to help you tie your shoes?!?!?!?!?
#2:  Nope.  Not today.  

......UGH!  I should be very happy that he can tie his shoes.....BUT IT DRIVES ME CRAZY THAT HE JUST DECIDED TODAY THAT HE WANTED TO DO IT AND HE DID IT!!!!  Okay, rant over.  YAY #2...even though I've been working with him for years on trying to tie his shoe and he didn't seem grateful but now he miraculously can tie his shoes cuz of no telling what reason.  Okay....NOW the rant is over.  

Funny story.....I get this text alert on my phone from #3's teacher.....

Text:  Ok so, #3 got a nudge.  He sobbed quietly pretty hard 

...and that was all that came up on my text alert.  Now I'm in the middle of class, but I KNOW that this must be important for her to send me a message.  So I patiently (yeah right) finish class and check the message.  The message went on to say that the sobbed quietly for about five minutes and explained why he got a nojo.

Me:  So.....how was school?
#3:  It was good. 
Me:  Sounds great.  
(a few minutes pass)
Me:  So....nothing happened at school today?
#3:  (sobbing)  I got a nojo today and it wasn't my fault I was just helping a friend who needed help in math but the teacher said that we aren't allowed to talk anymore and i felt bad because my friend didn't understand the math and I know that I should have listened to my teacher but you always say to help our friends and I was torn and God wasn't telling me what to do so I just decided to do what I thought God would tell me to do which is to help my friend and that's when I got a nojo.  

.....yes....biggest run on sentence ever...and think about how hard it was to understand since he was sobbing!  After we had a great talk about listening to our teacher and all of the other ways we could have handled the situation...and all the sobbing was finished....

Me:  You do know the teacher still likes you, right?
#3:  Yes.
Me:  Do you still love her?
#3:  Don't push it.  

......but he did wake up this morning and got ready to go to school without a tear....and after school, he did say "you know, I really do like her".  Great.....all is calm in our life by numbers!

Gurgling Toilets = Not Good

The last few days the toilet has been gurgling while I'm taking a shower.  As someone that has a billion tabs open in my mind at once, I heard it, knew I needed to let Hubby know, and then would go about my day and never say a word.  It's not that I wanted to cause us plumbing problems....it's just that wasn't a tab that was flagged in my brain.  Now that I look back on it, it couldn't have just happened when I was taking a shower.....all of us take showers around here, surely someone else heard the gurgling, right?

Well, Sunday morning the toilet is gurgling and now the bathtub won't drain....

Me:  HUBBY!!!!!!

Hubby:  What's going on?

Me:  I'm thinking something isn't working right.

Hubby:  UGH!  You think?!?!?!

.....so he's plunging and I'm getting ready and the #s are like "what is going on".....

Me:  Do not poop.

#s:  WHAT?!?!!?!

Me:  Do not poop.  Hold it until we get to church?

#2:  You're saying that I can't do my morning poop?

Me:  HOLD IT UNTIL WE GET TO CHURCH!

....and they did....and they rushed in the church building as soon as we got there!  

After church we go to the store and pick up some stuff for the toilet.  When we get home, I see what Hubby has bought.....

Me:  What is that?

Hubby:  The stuff for the toilet.  

Me:  It's in a sealed bag.

Hubby:  Just means it will work better.

Me:  Did you read the instructions?

Hubby:  Why?

Me:  You need protective gear to use this.

Hubby:  I got this.  

.....now I know where #2 gets his "nothing can hurt me" attitude.

Guess what....the "bag o' poison" doesn't work.  So Hubby calls the guy that some people from church recommend...and he can't come until the next day.  

#1:  Can we use the toilet yet?

Me:  No.

#1:  I have to poop.

Me:  Can you not hold it?

#1:  Sure....until when?

Me:  Tomorrow.

#1:  TOMORROW!!?!?!??!?!?

Hubby:  Let's go.

Me:  Where are we going?

Hubby:  Somewhere for the boys to use the bathroom.

Me:  This is ridiculous and disgusting.  I'm not going to a gas station.

Hubby:  We're going to church.....at least we know it's clean. 

.....so not all the #s want to go, but we made them.  This is where we start looking for hotels.  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HOTELS COST!?!??!?  $109 and up for a bed.  A BED!?!??!

We decided to stay at home....

#2:  What happens tomorrow morning?  I poop every morning before school.  I cannot do this.  I have to poop to start my day.  MOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!

Me:  If you have to poop, go upstairs and don't flush.  You'll be fine.  

....we did survive.....and the guy came out and didn't charge us an arm and a leg.  We are relieved....and now realize how much we treasure toilets and our plumbing in our life by numbers!  

Well, He didn't Swallow It.....

......but the tooth is finally out!!!!  I actually tried to pull it out last night when #3 was asleep.  I tip-toed to his bed to check on him and his mouth was open.  He looked so peaceful with his drool coming out of his mouth and him snuggled so sweetly under the covers.  There was a little noise in the room as the fan was blowing and the diffuser was sending out scents of lavender, peppermint and lemon.  I quietly got my fingers ready and grabbed ahold of the tooth.  I kept thinking "pull it out like a bandaid, pull it out like a bandaid" and started to pull and then....CHOMP....that kid bit me while he was asleep!

So this morning, after an early football practice and lounging around the house....
Me:  It's time.
Hubby:  For what?
Me:  To get this tooth out.  We're going to tell him we need to floss his tooth because of all the food stuck in the gum and we're going to see if we can get the floss to get it out.
Hubby:  Okay.
Me:  #3!!!!!!!
#3:  Yes?
Me:  Come in here, we have to get the food out of your tooth.
#3:  No.....I don't want you to pull it out.
Hubby:  We're going to floss it first.
....so I got in his mouth and sure enough, it is ready to come out, but once I tried to twist it, he closed his mouth and put his hands over it and wouldn't let me see the tooth again.  So we did the next best thing........I got on the bed, held his legs and arms down and Hubby went to his mouth and pulled out the tooth.  There were tears, there was screaming, there was a little blood, but all is well...and look at how happy he is when looking at his tooth.....

....and then he kept asking "why is there a stick in my tooth".  So we got to use the cool dentist term of "pulpectomy material" used to hold his tooth in his gum when he had surgery a few years ago.  It kinda does look like a stick.....

So after this fabulous ordeal of getting a tooth out, we heard bubbling from the toilet.  Hubby went to check on the sounds and saw the tub was still full of water.  Sounds like a plumber issue....and here is our plumber....

.....so off to the store we went to get some heavy duty stuff for our plumbing.  I mean, we couldn't have just had an easy day right?  :-) So right before we left for the store, we just started laughing.....one of those laughing fits that has to happen because if it doesn't, you might just cry.  We laugh all the time here and I absolutely LOVE this picture us.....









Tonight we finished the last of the Star Wars movies.  I couldn't miss this one cuz it has the Ewoks in it.  You can't pass up the Ewoks.  Well, I see #2's heart all the time, but I really saw his heart tonight while watching the movie.  #2 starts bawling when the Ewok died from the gun fire....

.....and then he cried again when Darth Vader died and then Luke burned him.  I mean, #2 really has this heart of gold and it doesn't come out all the time cuz he likes to be rough and tough, but he sure does have it.

So tomorrow is our second Sunday at the Crossland Butler County campus!  I am so excited!  I am pumped because it feels like we've been there forever.....I guess it just feels like home in our life by numbers!

I Just Don't Understand.....

#3.....I love this kid so much, but there are so many things that I just don't understand about him.  Like.....

*why he screams, kicks, and hits when I'm cutting his nails and it ends up that a chore that would normal take five minutes turns into 25 and we are both pouring from sweat and need a nap afterwards. 

*why he loves spelling homework so much on Tuesdays that he is eager to get to the table to do his work, but by Thursdays he has decided that spelling homework is for the birds and from the devil and refuses to do it.

*how he can find a shirt and wear it every day of the week and then all of the sudden, he has decided that it's the worst shirt he's ever seen and never wants to be seen in it again.

*and how his front tooth is hanging on by a thread and he can move it every which way, but if I go near it, he either slaps my hand, puts his hands over his mouth or tries to bite me.  

I'm telling you, the tooth is killing me.  It's probably killing me more than ever because it makes me want to vomit.  It is just hanging there in his precious little mouth (not so precious when he's trying to bite me), but he doesn't want it to go away.  I taught his class music today and he had his mouth closed and he was smiling with that tooth hanging out.  I finally told him to "put his tooth back".  Then he keeps asking me to wriggle it for him.  I will and then he starts to bite.  I've learned that I have ninja like reflexes.......but it's more like a ninja in training.  That kid has gotten me a few times and when I get onto him about it, I'm thinking "I'm the idiot that's putting my hand in his mouth".  

So sometime this weekend, I'm praying that this tooth comes out.....or falls out.....or gets eaten....oh my goodness, I can only imagine what would happen in our house if #3 swallows his tooth....no, I am NOT going through poop to find that!  That would be the story of the year in our life by numbers!  

What a Day!

All it takes is one thing to set the entire day off it's balance.  Usually after an unusually rowdy class or rough morning, I can bounce back to normal and the rest of the day is fine.  Today.....not so much.  And really I mean that since I couldn't bounce back, my day kept getting worse and worse.  I'm about ready to crawl into my covers and hide under my heated blanket until morning.  

It started with #1 and I running late.  I would love to say this rarely happens, but it's beginning to happen every day.  I think it's because I've decided that I like to talk in the mornings.  I think this is part of getting older...you get older, you get more social in the morning....maybe?!?!!?  Or maybe it's because that's the only time Hubby and I can actually carry on a conversation that isn't on the phone?!?!?!  Anyhoo.....we are running late and #1 has to be there early for pep band....seriously, wouldn't it make more sense for a bunch of musicians to have practice after school?  Who likes being at school at 7am?  So we're running late and throwing things in the car and then this happens.....

....yes, that's the passenger door handle....or lack thereof.... to our car.  I just looked at it in my hand, went to Hubby, handed it to him and walked off.  How in the world does this happen.....again.  Yes, I said again.  This happened last year with the driver's door handle.  UGH!  

So I take #1 to school and then I'm driving to my school.  Well, we have this thing called a "round about".  I actually like the round about cuz I don't have to stay at a red light or stop sign.  It does make the traffic go faster and it hasn't given me any problems....until today.  I was minding my own business, driving like I usually do and this guy decides that a yield sign isn't for him today and runs it and I am inches....if that....away from hitting his car.  I hit on my horn, he stops.....STOPS.....looks at me to make sure we didn't hit I guess, looks at me and waves and drives off.  He waved at me???  HE WAVED AT ME!?!?!?!?!?  

Now.....before I go into my next range of emotions.....I am such a careful driver.  Like, careful enough that people do make fun of me.  I can't go over the speed limit....it's just not in my blood.  I literally am always anxious if I'm even 2 miles over the speed limit.  I use a turn signal when I turn.  I come to a complete stop at a stop sign.  I know, it's crazy...but it's me.  Back to my story....

Where was I?  Oh yeah....HE WAVED AT ME?!?!!??!  Now at this point, I'm livid.  Absolutely livid. It took everything in my power to not follow this guy and chew him out.  There was nothing in my mind at this point except "make a wise choice".  There was something telling me "make a wise choice.....drive to work and calm down".  At this point, I am absolutely sobbing.  I don't mean crying.....I mean gasping for air, tears streaming down my face and I can't talk in coherent sentences.  I call Hubby.....I put him on speakerphone and place the phone down on the passenger seat.....

Hubby:  I cannot understand you.  Did you have an accident or almost have an accident?

Me:  I (sob, gasp, sob) almost (sob, gasp, sob) had an (sob, gasp, sob) accident. 

Hubby:  You need to get to work and calm down.  

....the conversation was nice.  I needed him to tell me to get a grip and get to work.  I did just that and when I looked in the mirror, I looked absolutely awful. 

The rest of my day went well....we have a fabulous lady that works in the front office at one of my schools (I mean, they are ALL fabulous) and she calmed me down a bit and then made me laugh and I got better quicker.  I shook the rest of the day.  I guess my nerves were just shot.  When I went out to the parking lot to pick up the #s, I at first couldn't even get my body to process to put the car into reverse.  I'm pretty sure I might need a driver for the rest of my life (can you tell things like this absolutely make me crazy)!

Tonight, #2 had football practice.  This means that #3 has to come with me seeing that he can't stay by himself at seven years old.  This also means that #3 could have a great time for 1 1/2 hours OR it can be miserable for everybody....can you guess which happened?!?!?!  

First, #3 spit in my mouth.....

#3:  I'm going to spit. 

Me:  No you're not.  

#3:  Okay fine.....hey, open your eyes and mouth.

Me:  No....

.....and as I said "no", he spit in my mouth.  Now this is in front of someone...whether they were paying attention or not, I have no clue.  Surprisingly, I didn't lose it.  I didn't go off....it's almost like I expected it.  

Then all throughout the practice, he was all over me, on the floor, upset with me, wanted something that I couldn't give him, etc.  I was pretty much watching the clock the entire time cuz I was ready to go.  At the end of the practice, a friend and I were talking and I said.....

Me:  If #2 misbehaves tomorrow, you can punch him.  

#3:  Cuz Mommy punches him all the time.

......WHAT!?!?!?!?!?  DID HE JUST SAY THAT!?!?!?!?!?  Seriously, I think this kid goes from kind to crazy in 2.5 seconds!

We got home and I was just about done.  #3 wasn't listening, he was talking back....and we just had a fabulous week!  So he came to me and was a complete smart aleck......

Me:  You know what?  I'm done.  You need to go on the steps and talk to God. 

.....now I don't recommend doing this with every child, but with this kid, well, he talks to God all the time.  They are tight.  I'm not being sarcastic either.  He went to the steps and stayed there for about seven minutes.  After that, his eyes were red, tears were rolling down his face....

#3:  We're finished.

Me:  What did you talk about?

#3:  My actions.  I told God everything....He said he already knew and He wants me to make good choices.  He also said that He forgives me and He loves me very much. 

.....I'm going to tell you...I truly believe that #3 sat on our steps and had a conversation with God.  There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that #3 and God had a serious, but loving conversation....mostly because when I heard him on the steps, it's like someone is sitting right next to him.  The way he looks, the way he talks....#3 is talking to someone.  

At the end of the end of my night, I've dropped a five pound weight on my foot.  Yeah, I'm about done with this day.  I don't have many days like this, but my goodness, today was one of those "I want to sleep this day away" in our life by numbers!