Barbie Dolls

There's something that you're gonna have to know about me if you're going to continue to read my blog.....I'm tough on the outside, but I actually do care about what people think about me.

Yes folks, it's true....in this messy, worn-out, frustrated, mom body, there is a heart...though sometimes can be very cold, is also very fragile.  I'm a hard nut to crack at times.  I'm completely over the top.  I'm funny.  I'm obnoxious.  I'm independent.  I'm creative.  I'm organized.
BUT.....
I want to make sure that nobody hates me.  I want people to smile.  I want people to like me (but I don't want to change for them).  I also go through a million outfits every morning to make sure I don't look too comfortable, too sloppy, too frumpy, too fat, too whatever.  I worry about my hair.  I worry about my make-up coming off.  I worry about being so frustrated that I'll cry.  I worry about my kiddos (my school kiddos) at night when I pray for them.  I worry that I'm not the perfect mom.  I worry that I'm not the best wife.  I worry that I will give "pastor's wife" a negative name.

I picture myself sitting on a sofa and all my blogger friends are asking me "where does this stem from"....so I'll tell you....
Barbie.  Yes, it's true.  I LOVED playing with Barbie dolls when I was a little girl.  I had so many of the Barbie dolls and knew them all by name.  I'd change their clothes and change their careers more times than I blinked.  I had certain Barbies that I played with in the bathtub, other Barbies that I cut their hair, one group that had those different kind of arms and legs that the fuzz of the carpet always got on and made them dirty (they usually went in the tub), and then the perfect Barbies.

Curse those perfect Barbie dolls with their perfect hair, painted on smile, perfect perky boobs, and feet that could always wear the most dazzling shoes (or at least the ones that the dog didn't chew up). I remember trying to fix my hair like her, wear the clothes that she wore and just looking at the Barbie thinking "I can't wait until I grow up and look like that".

I remember thinking that my nose isn't quite like Barbie's.....so I was consumed with trying to make my nose look smaller.  I tried all kinds of make-up tricks on my face.  I also remember trying to go on numerous diets and took all kinds of diet pills so I could have that skinny waist.

And then one day I woke up and realized that BARBIE ISN'T 5'2".  I realized I WAS 5'2".  Something isn't adding up.  Then I realized all sorts of things like...
my hair doesn't stay the same after I fix it
I don't have a permanent smile
I hate high heel shoes
I've had three kids....not even gonna get to the rest of my body
....but there was some obsession.  Even though I knew I couldn't look like Barbie, I needed to look better....feeling better wasn't good enough.

So I've gone through this my entire life (I'm guessing some of you might be able to relate).  I look at my clothes over and over every morning and always ask the #s what they think (they will be brutally honest).  I check my hair in the mirror a million times a day just to make sure that there is no flatness on my head.  This is a daily thing....but the thing that got me was this past weekend.....

We went to see my parents/grandmother this weekend since Mimi (my grandmother) is now in an assisted living home.  Before I go on, I need to tell you that I LOVE my family with ALL of my heart, but this lady is the one that picked out my clothes when I was growing up, told me how my hair needed to be cut (there was a really bad mullet stage that she swore was the "in" thing that I had to go through), told me how much was too much make-up, and would tell me in a heartbeat if she didn't like something......okay, continuing.....so I'm going through outfits a million times and finally pick one and made sure that everything is okay.  And then I realize it.  The worst part of the trip is yet to come....

MY GRANDMOTHER HAS NOT SEEN MY CURLY HAIR!!!!!  I am in a panic to make sure that it looks perfect.  I've got so much junk in my hair that I could go out in a tornado and it wouldn't move.  We drive down to Tennessee, get to the assisted living home, and I'm looking in the mirror more than a model about to go down the runway.  My grandmother looks at me and says "well, you got your hair all chopped off".  I had no clue how to take it....does she like it?  Hate it?  Can't see it?  She mentions in again at lunch....."I see that it's really curly".  I'm just bracing myself.  Any moment the words will come out about how it looks.  I'm ready.  I'm truly ready.

The rest of the day she would just comment on it.  Saying things like "it's short", "it's curly", "who does it", "does Hubby like it", "do the children like it", etc.  The Barbie mentality is now in full force....I'm too fat to wear short curly hair....she's sees all the gray....the clothes aren't good enough.....where's my smile.....".  No one else is picking up on my panic attack....but it's there and I'm in full blown "this would be a great time to see a psychiatrist and pick up some medication" mode.

The day ended....there was no comment.  I replayed each conversation with my grandmother in my head on the way home.  Did I miss something?  Has she changed that much?  Did she not like it and just isn't telling me?  Why am I doing this to myself at 38 years old?  How can I not make my #s feel like this when they are 38?

So I called my grandmother this week to check on her.....
Me:  Hi Mimi!  I wanted to see how you're doing in your new place....
Mimi:  It's going well.  I meant to tell you something this weekend.
......you can start the hands sweating, head pounding, heart racing "here it goes" segment.....
Me:  What is it?
Mimi:  It's about your hair.  I absolutely love it!
Me:  Well....wait...what?!?!?!?
Mimi:  I love it!  It makes you look so much younger!  You need to keep it curly!  It looks beautiful on you!

.....and then cue the thinking......
Makes me look younger?
How old did I look before?
Did I need to do something years ago?
How old do I look now?
Should I color my hair?
How could I look 29 again?
So if I lose more weight how old will I look?
Should I try new make-up?
How does this curly hair make my nose look?
.....and that, my friends, is the way my brain works in our life by numbers!

Forgiveness

So this week I've heard #1 say a lot of "I forgive you"s.  I wasn't quite sure why he said that, so I kept listening to his conversations.  Today on the way to school....

#1:  It's okay, I forgive you.

#2:  But I didn't say I was sorry.

#1:  I know, but I forgive you anyway.  You don't have to say you're sorry, but I do need to forgive you.

Me:  You do realize that you don't have to tell him that you forgive him.....you can just forgive him.  

#1:  WHAT?!?!!?  Doesn't he want to know that I forgive him?

#2:  I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE FORGIVING ME FOR!!!  I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

....needless to say, this got a little heated as we dropped #1 off at school.  

After we dropped #1 off at school.....

#2:  So I don't get it.  Why is he forgiving me?

Me:  I'm guessing you've done something to hurt his feelings he's telling you that he forgives you.  

#2:  But why is he forgiving me?

Me:  Sometimes people hurt us and we have a lot of anger built up in us....but it's not hurting the one that hurt us....who is it hurting. 

#3:  It's hurting me!

#2:  And me!

Me:  That's right.  Sometimes we just have to forgive people.....and even though we might never see them again, we cleanse our heart of that hatred of the wrong that they did to us.  We don't dwell on it anymore.  We can laugh about it instead of getting heated about it.  

#2:  I forgive you #3!

#3:  I forgive you too #2!

I've come to the realization that #1....and eventually #2 and #3....was doing something that I need to do....I need to forgive the ones that hurt me.  I feel that in my life, I've forgiven people and told them. I've asked for forgiveness.  But there are people that I still have that pinned up hatred for because of the wrong that they've done to me and it's hurting no one else but me.  So.....I forgive you.  There, I said it.  I forgive all that you've done to me.  I forgive the words that were said to me and about me.  I forgive the things that were done to me.  

And I hope that the wrongs that I've caused, well, that you'll forgive me......I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for the hurtful things I've said, the advice I've given, the times I wasn't there when you needed me, the times I ignored you, hurt you, made you cry, made you angry.  I'm truly sorry.  

Funny how we see our kiddos doing just what we should be doing.....them teaching us......there's always a lesson to be learned in our life by numbers.  

Drunk on Sugar

So....I feel the need to tell you how absolutely crazy my life can be.....which might explain how absolutely off the wall, over the top I can be because of my crazy life.

Picture this.....#3 is at his Halloween party.  He's been given three containers of different colored icing.  He's also been given four or five containers of sprinkles and candy.  He received this, along with all the other kiddos, to decorate cookies.  In the back of my mind, I knew that he couldn't handle that much sugar, but am I really going to take this away from him?  I left to go to #2's party and then headed back to give #3 some info about what to do after school.  #3 has now put icing all over his pizza and is adding sprinkles to it....ON HIS PIZZA!!!!  I'm shocked, but didn't really understand the issue I was going to have until....
Me:  (whispering in his ear) Okay honey, I'll meet you in my room after school
#3:  (sounds completely hammered)  OKAY MOMMY!  HAVE FUN.....I AM!
.....I knew what was ahead of us....I thought.  I knew that the night would be chaotic.....I thought.  I knew that we could get through this and wake up tomorrow back in his normal state....I thought.

Does this give you a preview of things to come.....

....I mean, look at the icing all over his face.  Look at his eyes drunk with sugar.  Look at his tongue hanging out like he's crazy.  Look at his ears burning on a sugar high.  This is just a picture people...JUST A PICTURE!!!!

On the way home, #3 doesn't stop talking.  I heard about his day, his party, recess, lunch, any little thing that happened in the hallway, his friend's clothes....and I heard about it all the way home.  #1 looked at me with a horrified look on his face...it's okay kiddo, we'll make it through.

We get home and I sit on the couch.....and for the next three hours #3 is jumping, pulling, pushing, yelling, arguing, laughing, crying, being silly.....THREE HOURS!  It was like watching a drunk person trying to act like nothing is wrong.  #3 couldn't speak without slurring his words.  He couldn't walk without tripping.  He would get angry and get physically violent and then he would cry big ol' crocodile tears and then he would laugh uncontrollably until he'd start all over.  It was the wildest thing I've ever seen.....a seven year old drunk on sugar!

The next few days were like living in a detoxing unit.  #3 woke up in a very bad mood.  We had a football game for #2 and #3 pouted most of the first half....over what?  He only got one granola bar for breakfast and everybody else got two.....but since we ran out, it was obviously our fault and warranted a meltdown all the way to the game and through the first half.

The rest of the day was pretty much like that.....anything and everything set him off.....either tears, laughing, yelling, or completely quiet.  I kept thinking "maybe he just needs another nap......he'll be over this by tomorrow".

Right now you could cue the laughing....like the deep belly laughing when you know that something isn't going to happen the way you're hoping, praying, begging it would.  #3 had a meltdown at church.  Now, you've got to remember that Hubby has been the campus pastor since September at this location and we've successfully had zero meltdowns....until November 1st....
Me:  It's time to go to class.
#3:  IT'S NOT FAIR....IT WAS MY TURN AND I HAVEN'T HAD A TURN YET. 
Me:  Okay...go finish your turn and then go to class.
#3:  IT'S TOO LATE!  IT'S NOT FAIR!  I DIDN'T GET A TURN!
....and he ran into the coffee area...and that's where I left him.  I checked people into classes, greeted our new friends, did the announcements (and made sure that #1 was watching to make sure #3 didn't run out the door), and came back and asked if he wanted to go to class.....
Me:  You can either go to class or you can read your Bible.  Either way, you need some Jesus. 
#3:  Oh I GOT Jesus.  
Me:  Pick one....you obviously need more.  
......and that little stinker opened his Bible and started reading...out loud.....just to prove a point.  I went back to the coffee area a few minutes later and told him it was his last chance to go to class.....and he stood up, looked at me, rolled his eyes, and walked to class.

So I'm thinking Sunday afternoon...."maybe tonight's sleep will make him go back to normal".....and to tell you the truth, I didn't even believe it when I thought it or when I said it out loud.  And I knew that he still hadn't detoxed when he was at #2's football game on Monday night and he was shaking his booty, yelling for #2's team, yelling AT the referees, dancing so everybody could see him.  Hubby looked at me....
Hubby:  You know, it would have a total meltdown if he really knew what he was doing and how everybody was looking at him.
....and he was exactly right.  There are times the kiddo won't even look at people and yet he has his hand on his butt and dancing backwards while making "umph" noises....it was funny and embarrassing all at the same time.

Right before #3 had therapy, I talked to his therapists about his behavior.  They both said sugar is one of the worst drugs ever and once you have some, you crave more.  #3 just can't handle his sugar. You know what the scary part is?  He WAS drunk on sugar.  When his therapist asked him about what happened, #3 couldn't tell her everything cuz he couldn't remember everything.  In fact, he totally doesn't remember his Halloween party at school or dancing at the football game.....and THAT, my friends, is our life by numbers!

Star Wars....Again

I'm beginning to love the app Time Hop....mostly so I can laugh at the past.  I have been reminded of silly sayings, seen some pretty epic pictures of the #s that will come in handy when they are dating, but the funniest is seeing this picture....

 .....the reason that it's so funny to me is because this year, they went in these costumes....

....it never dawned on me that we've already done these outfits.  I mean, I would win "worst mother of the year" in some circles...in some neighborhoods I would be out casted for them wearing something they've already worn.  I'm just glad we got costumes earlier than two days before Halloween this year!

Now, because I have an old photo, I just HAD to recreate the photo...so I can be a little bit like everybody else.  This picture came after 30 minutes of trying to find #2's costume, not being able to find it, stuffing him into #1's old costume, #3 hitting people with light sabers while they're getting ready, #1 dressing and all of his clothes being inside out, and trying to get them calm and still enough to recreate the picture......

....after all this, I'm exhausted.


And of course, in our house, we can switch costumes any time we want because we have a room full of costumes and access to many more....so when we went to school for our Halloween parties, we looked like this.....

....I mean, we LOVE to have fun and dress up.....and I'm pretty excited that my kiddos absolutely love acting a little different from others.  It's what makes life interesting.

Now I will tell you, I've always liked Halloween.  I always liked dressing up and going door to door as people tell me how cute my outfit was.  I even liked going door to door getting candy in my grandmother's neighborhood.  I remember going to my mom's old neighborhood and people telling me stories about watching mom grow up and then seeing a stuffed dog in my other grandmother's neighborhood....and watching the lady talk to it like it was real.  I remember my parents making sure that we went through every piece of candy to make sure nothing was open and throwing out candy that looked "iffy".  I also never remember ever finishing our candy bowl.  In fact, I can't recall ever seeing our candy bowl a few days past Halloween....where DID all that candy go?!!?!?!?!?

I loved taking #1 and #2 out for trick-or-treating....it was always so wonderful to hear people talk about how cute they were in their costumes....and the candy they got for us was always a perk!  And even when #3 came along, we had a great time at first.  When people got too close for him and he'd cry, we'd just close the top of the stroller and then he'd be fine.  And then things got a little rougher once #3 could walk....like him running away from people...which also meant us....when people started to talk to him.  Or how the costumes got a little scarier and started freaking out #3.  And it doesn't help that one lady said she wouldn't give them candy unless she got their picture.  HELLO RED FLAG!!!!!  So ever since then, we've tried to come up with a different solution than going door to door to take candy from strangers.  That's when Outback Steakhouse came in the picture!!!

See....a few years ago, they would give you a free kid's meal if the kiddo was wearing a costume (and an adult purchased a meal).  YES PLEASE!!!!  So we went to Outback and then we would take them to the store and they could pick out anything in the store for $10 or less....and then we'd throw in a bag of candy that they agreed upon.....that's on top of all the candy they received at Trunk-or-Treat!  WHAT A DEAL!!!!

This year was a little different cuz we had a football game at noon.  We went out to eat with the grandparents and then we just were exhausted.  Then I saw that Outback was doing $2.99 kid meals.  WHAT!?!??!?!?  WHERE ARE MY FREE MEALS?!?!?!??!  So I did what any parent would do.....
Me:  I'll make you a deal.
#s:  Okay, what is it?
Me:  If we don't go to Outback tonight...since we JUST ate....we'll go to the store and you can pick something for $15 or less!
#s:  That's an extra $5 each!!!
......and there you have it folks...peace on earth!  I mean, look at their faces......that's happiness....

We did end up going to Outback this afternoon after church and got a coupon for 15% off.  15% sounds like a lot until you realize that your two older kiddos each got an adult meal which pretty much ends the joy of having a 15% off coupon cuz it doesn't amount to that much.

So we ended our Halloween evening with watching Indiana Jones all snuggled up as a family in the den laughing and telling the #s when to close their eyes at the gory scenes....which includes the kissing scenes.  For now, that's just as gory in our life by numbers!

Is Jump Roping REALLY Your Talent?!?!!?

#2 is really good at anything he does....he can keep beat and come up with some fabulous rhythms, he can play all kinds of sports, he can sing and keep it in tune, he can organize things so they make sense, he listens to others and actually can give great advice, he does well in school....you get the point.

Well, #2 tells me at school on Monday that he needs a jump rope.  I don't think much about it and I ask Coach W for a jump rope for #2 to borrow.  We come home on Monday and #2 is extremely frustrated.....
#2:  I have to be able to jump rope by Wednesday for Good Morning PG!
Me:  For what?
#2:  My talent.
Me:  Is jump roping your talent?
#2:  No....that's why I gotta learn by Wednesday.....so I can make it my talent.
Me:  Why did you choose to jump rope?
#2:  Cuz I can't hula hoop.
Me:  Obviously.
.....I have no clue why or how #2 decided that he could learn how to jump rope and it actually be his talent.  But he practiced for two days....two long days of watching him get frustrated, hit things with the rope as he jumped, come up with elaborate excuses as to why it won't work, measure the jump rope and say that it's too long, and pray for the talent to come to him in two days......and then he finally got up to 9 jumps before the rope wrapped around his head.

Today he said that he wasn't going to do it and I had to pep talk him into at least trying.  Sometimes it's hard being a parent...knowing that he's not going to do well, but knowing that he can't give up.  So I told him I was going to be there...cheering him on.  And he decided to try....and that's really all I asked.

And today I got to see him jump rope in front of the school.....he was too close to the stage and his rope kept hitting it.....but there were times that he got three jumps in....
Me:  That was pretty good jump roping.
#2:  Thanks....but it really wasn't.  I needed another day or two to really make it my talent.  
Me:  Obviously.  
....and to tell you the truth, I was proud of him....not for jump roping, but for trying.....and that's all I ask in our life by numbers!

Have It Together??? Ha!

I always laugh when people say "Kelley, you have it all together".....I always think "it's not together, it's all over the place, hanging from the ceiling, flying out the window, and there are missing pieces".  Let's take Sunday for example....

*we got up late and started rushing around getting ready....and I mean rush.  Hubby got up on time, but for some reason, the rest of us just didn't get out of bed.  There were lots of:
hurry up
don't do that
stop arguing
find whatever you're looking for
I don't know what sound that animal makes
you can't wear that
I don't care if your socks match.....

*then there was arguing between the #s.....about shoes.....I heard a lot of
you can't wear those shoes
those are my shoes
your shoes have to match
MOOOOOMMMMM
he's wearing my shoes......

*and we can't forget us trying to find all of the costumes and pieces of costumes that we didn't find the night before that we obviously can't find right before we leave......so there were a lot of
who cares about the belt
that doesn't work
it doesn't fit right
that's not part of the costume
MOOOOMMMMMMM.......

*and we can't forget the argument that the #s HAD to have in the middle of our rush to go out the door.....
Zebras are black with white stripes
no they are white with black stripes
yes they are, I KNOW they are
you are so mean
MOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.....

.....and you can't forget that during this entire morning, #3 is walking around the house into every room while blowing a whistle that he found.....and blowing it as loud as he can....especially when he was losing an argument.

Having it all together I most certainly do not....but I sure do love to laugh about it....after I've calmed down and taken a few blood pressure medicines....in our by numbers!

Spiders, Toilets, Braces...Oh My!

I rarely go upstairs.  With three boys and all their stuff upstairs, I kinda keep myself off limits.  There are times I walk up a few steps, see something out of place (like in the hallway) and think “I don’t need the stress of seeing what’s up there” and I walk right back downstairs.  I mean, last week there was a dead mouse attached to the baseboard.  Don’t tell me there’s nothing to be afraid of. 

So this week I decided I would brave the upstairs.  I armed myself with a garbage bag and a container of Clorox wipes….always be prepared.  I slowly walked up the stairs barely breathing as I wouldn’t want to wake anything that might be living that I didn’t approve of to live in my house.  I looked in one room….complete chaos.  Toys in the wrong containers.   The shade is being held up by a toy.  Costumes were all over the room.  Basketball goal in pieces.  I just look…I don’t go in. 

I walk to the other room….the stuffed animals that we worked so hard on being placed in their proper spots and in different containers are in one big pile in the corner.  It looks like we are trying to make a mountain out of stuffed animals so we can reach the ceiling.  I look at the closet that is halfway open and I shake my head.  I’m not even going to attempt to find out what’s in there. 

And then I head to the bathroom.  Remember….I live with all males.  The dog is female, but unless she’s cleaning a toilet, she doesn’t count. The smell of urine isn’t near as bad as I thought it would be.  I was pretty sure the smell would knock me unconscious for a few minutes….maybe it just happened for a few seconds this time.  And then I looked at this…..

….what in the world!?!?!??!?  First of all, the toothpaste looks like someone has been squeezing it with their fist.  No wonder they keep telling me I need to buy toothpaste.  The sink!??!?!  I mean, maybe THAT is where they are storing the toothpaste?!?!?  Is it too much to ask to at least clean out the sink every few days, weeks, months?!?!?!?  And I’m not even going to start with why the trash is actually outside the trash can…..

As I clean, I’m thinking of all the things I’m going to teach them.  You know what I mean?  I’m going to read the things that people post to make sure my #s are like all the OTHER families that have their two months old emptying the dishwasher….my two year old will be folding clothes out of the dryer…..they’ll be cleaning out the gutters by four??!?!?  And then I realize….at least I can afford more toothpaste when they poor it down the drain….at least they know to partially aim for the toilet when they pee….at least they got it near the trashcan. 

Our biggest ordeal this week was with #3….shocking, I know.  Apparently a group came in and told his class about orthodontics.  Now, I’m very grateful that people come in our school and talk to our kiddos.  I think it’s fabulous that they take the time out of their very busy schedule to teach our kiddos something that will probably affect them later in life.  But I wish people would realize that some kiddos see black and white….no gray….no colors of any kind.  In fact, it’s almost like they have tunnel vision and their tunnel is long and narrow….and that’s where #3 comes in……

#3:  Looks like I need to go to the dentist.

Me:  Why?  Do your teeth hurt?

#3:  No….I need braces.

Me:  You do not need braces.

#3:  YES I DO!  I still have these baby teeth and I heard that if you still have baby teeth, you’re gonna need braces RIGHT NOW!

…..and now you can cue the screaming for braces, crying for braces, on the floor begging for braces.  I mean seriously, if I could have slapped some braces on this kid’s teeth right then, I would have.  So I go to school the next day and talk with our guidance teachers….and they do remember that sentence being said.  And because these gals are so wonderful, they pulled #3 aside and told him he passed his dental test and he doesn’t need braces….

Me:  So…..I guess I’ll make you that appointment for your braces.

#3:  Oh, guess what!  Ms. G came to me and said that I passed my dentist test and I don’t need braces!

Me:  SHE DID?!?!?!??! 

#3:  Yeah, she said it a few times, so I’m guessing I REALLY don’t need them.  So you don’t have to make the appointment for me. 

……now, I told him this all night and that morning…..AND HE TAKES IT FROM HIS GUIDANCE TEACHER!?!?!?!?  You know what?  I don’t care if it came from a talking unicorn wearing a tutu….as long as that is another crisis diverted.

So as I'm headed home tonight after our school's fall fest, #2 and I are talking while #1 and #3 are in the backseat arguing about something.  I look at the window and there is a spider.  Now remember, I'm driving....about 45 miles per hour....

I take off my shoe....while I'm driving.

I start hitting the window...while I'm driving. 

And then I lost it.  I now have all the lights on in the car and I have one shoe hitting everything while I have #2 looking for the spider that has now fallen somewhere....anywhere....in this car...like #2's  now got my shoe and he's hitting all around the floor where the pedals are in the car.  

#2:  I FOUND IT!!!

Me:  DID YOU KILL IT?!?!?!?

#2:  NO, HE'S TOO FAST!!!!

Me:  YOU'VE GOT TO KILL IT!!!!

#2:  I'M TRYING!!!!

.....we are still going 45 miles per hour while both of us are looking for a spider and there are cars passing us...probably because I'm swerving so bad....#1 and #3 are still arguing about something.....

#2:  IT'S DEAD!!!!

Me:  REALLY?!?!?!  LET ME SEE!

(#2 shoes me my shoe)

Me:  THAT IS DIRT!

#2:  I THOUGHT IT WAS A SPIDER....LIKE HIS GUTS!!!!

Me:  THAT.  IS.  DIRT.  FIND.  THE. SPIDER.

......next thing I know, #2 is just hitting everything in the car with my shoe....

Me:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!??!?!

#2:  I'M TRYING TO KILL THE SPIDER!!!

Me:  DO YOU SEE IT?!?!?!

#2:  NO, BUT MAYBE I CAN JUST SCARE IT AWAY!!!!

....I pull into Sonic and there....in the middle....is the spider.....and I smash it....

#2:  Ewwwwww........

Me:  THAT is what spider guts look like. 

So apparently on our schedule for tomorrow is to clean out the car and make sure nothing else is living in there in our life by numbers!