Happy Birthday #2!

 This kid has my heart!  I mean, absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, has had my heart from day one.  I'm sure a lot of it is because he is just like me....we call him my mini-me.  He has a competitive side that gets unbelievably out of control at times.  He's friends with all kinds of people and doesn't care what they look like, where they come from or how much money they have.  He's going to tell you like it is whether you like it or not....but that's after he listens to you.  There are times that he doesn't think before he speaks, but he will apologize when that happens....sometimes later than sooner, but he will.


#2 has taught me that sports can actually be a part of life and that through all of the schedules, games, wins, loses, it all matters to him and he will want to play again.

He's taught me the real definition of bad odor when it comes to after he's had a sports practice or what his clothes smell like after a game.  He's taught me that stains are gonna happen in football gear and I'm just gonna have to clean it the best I can and be proud when he adds another stain cuz "you know I'm playin' hard if I'm dirty".

He's taught me to be loud....okay, maybe I taught that to him!  #2 has two volumes:  loud and asleep.  I can pick his voice out of a crowd, but then I also hear him cheering on his team with that loud voice and it brings a smile to my face.








He's taught me that dancing in public is fine and it doesn't matter what others think....maybe I taught him that too.  He's dances all the time...praise the Lord the kid has rhythm!

#2 has taught me that even though I fight and fight hard for the arts, sports are important too and it shouldn't be a battle against each other, but with each other.  I've learned that sports are important and that if I can teach him a little bit of music, he can use that to chant on his team or sing his brother to sleep when they're sick.

In his tough exterior is a very soft and mushy interior.  He loves others and when he gets his feelings hurt, he will wait until he comes home to cry....and at that point he snuggles up with Mommy and lets it all out.  He can't stand for people to be bullied and doesn't have a problem telling someone to stop picking on another.

He loves Jesus and, even thought he doesn't yell it to the world, he prays for people all the time.  He will come home with stories and say that we need to pray for them and their situation.

He's a smart little guy and doesn't care a thing about it.  He rushes through homework so he can play ball.  He hates to study, but does well.  He's been told that he's extremely bright and he just shrugs his shoulders and asks if he can play outside.  But he does know that in order to play ball, he has to do well in school....or at least do his best.

#2 loves his brothers and has stuck up for them in many way throughout his life.  He told a guy to quit talking to #3 when he was wearing a cape when we were shopping one day.  He kicked a guy one time who was trying to talk to #1 and the guy put his hand on #1's shoulder and squeezed it.  He will do anything for his brothers and won't tolerate anybody messing with them.

#2 sings to me when I'm not feeling well and asks me to sing to him when he's sick.  He loves to snuggle....though he'd never tell his friends that....and he loves to sit and watch the cooking channel with me.

When the #s are arguing, most of the time, #2 will be the one to walk away or try to fix the situation.  That's not all the time, but most of the time.

#2 is a messy kid....one that gets all into games and food.  He loves his food.  I'm thinking that's why he loves watching the cooking channel with me.  He talks about my nachos and Hubby's cheese dip.  He loves to help bake.  He also thinks about others when it comes to food.  There was a time when he found out that one of his friends couldn't have cookies when celebrating his birthday so he changed the entire snack to fresh fruit...he didn't want to have his friend feel left out.

#2 taught me patience.  We waited four years for this bundle of joy.  We tried for three years to have this kiddo.  I took fertility medicine for a year and then got off cuz it made me crazy (we had done this with #1 too).  I was devastated that we were going through infertility....again.  What was wrong with me?  The ups and downs were awful.....they were emotional....they were physically exhausting.  And know when we found out we were pregnant?  When our insurance was cut at a job.  There was just so many ups and downs during this pregnancy....and a down was when we found out that there was a possible heart valve issue.  I mean, there were tears....lots and lots of tears.  I loved this child before I met him, yet I knew that this kid was gonna rock my world with things I just didn't know.

I'll never forget the night before my c-section.  Hubby and I went to a hotel in Nashville so that we didn't have to leave Kentucky early that morning.  So we had a date night.  I was craving cheese fries.  So we ate and walked around and then all night I was miserable.....
Hubby:  Are you sure you're okay?
Me:  No.  I think those cheese fries gave me gas.
.....I took a bath and finally relaxed enough to get a few hours of sleep....between waking up to pee and complaining of a tummy ache.

The next morning, we headed to the hospital and they hooked me up to the monitors....
Nurse:  Honey....are you hurting?
Me:  Well, I had cheese fries and I think I have gas.
Nurse:  No honey.....those are called contractions and they are two minutes apart.  We gotta rush that c-section!
.....and we did....and #2 has been a kid that has come in like a bull in a china shop ever since!

So....happy birthday #2!  Thanks for a fabulous entrance into this world and lessons in sports!  We absolutely love you in our life by numbers!

SNOW DAYS!

I'll admit....I love a fabulous snow day....the ones where we can't get out and do anything.  The ones were I can binge watch The Big Bang Theory with Hubby as the #s play and watch their movies.  The snow days that let us sleep in (though nobody in this house sleeps really late cuz they wake everybody else up) and we lounge around the house.  The snow days that we can go outside and actually play in the snow instead of walking around an icy ground.  Give me a great snow in the winter....one or two will be fine.....and then we can zip through the rest of the school year getting ready for summer vacation.  I love a great snow!  

Let's see.....since the big "I'm changing to tuba now that you've paid over half of my trombone off" story, things have been pretty calm.  We had #2's birthday party.  I cannot even begin to tell you how crazy it is to me that he's almost nine years old.  This kid has taught me a whole lot of stuff.....like the entire world of sports!  I'll have a post just about him next week on his birthday!  LOVE that kid! 

We were off on Monday and it was just a really "blah" day for me.  Things weren't going right and I had to do things that I didn't want to do (we found ants so I took it upon myself to clean #2 and #3's room).  I washing sheets and I was just ticked....not really at anybody, but just the situation....

Hubby:  Let me help you.

Me:  I don't want your help.  I wanted to do nothing today.  I know it's selfish, but I wanted to sit and watch tv.  I wanted to eat whatever I wanted.  I wanted to just be at our house and be lazy....AND INSTEAD I HAD TO CLEAN THE SHEETS AND CLEAN UP A ROOM BECAUSE OF ANTS!!!!!  

Hubby:  It's not selfish....everybody needs some time to themselves.  

Me:  WELL....I'M TALKING TO YOU AND DOING SHEETS SO THERE IS NO TIME TO MYSELF NOW EITHER!!!!!

.....have I mentioned that sometimes I'm just about the craziest person you'll ever meet?  I'm not proud of how I acted, but I really wanted a day to myself.  I think I really wanted a day where I wasn't doing laundry....but I digress....

Now.....before this conversation continues, you must know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE our life group.....and I am more thankful that they come to our house every week!  They are rockin' my life with friendship, honesty, love, blessings...the list can go on....but I wasn't feeling them coming over on Monday because I was already ticked off about the sheets.  So before the laundry conversation when Hubby got home, this was the conversation on speakerphone....

Me:  WHAT are we going to make for life group?

Hubby:  Well....are there boxes of desserts in the cabinet?

Me:  It's my day off....and you want ME to cook?!??!!?

#1:  Seriously Dad.....she's not a cook....whether it's her day off or not. 

Me:  Thanks son....thanks a whole lot.

.....can you tell I just wasn't feeling the whole "Monday"??!??!?!?  Apparently I needed some sleep cuz I woke up in a much better mood on Tuesday.  

So our week has consisted of no school on Monday, go to school on Tuesday, no school on Wednesday, an hour delay on Thursday, and no school on Friday.  I'm pretty sure that this is a musician's dream schedule and I could totally do this for the rest of my life.  Yep, pretty sure.  In fact, #2 woke up so nice and happy Thursday morning.....

#2:  That extra hour of sleep is just what I needed.  Will you please ask Mr. F to start school from now on an hour later?  

Me:  Yes, I'll get right on that...I'm sure our superintendent will change the school schedule just for you.

#2:  I'm friends with his kid, we got this.  

.....#2 really thinks he has the power to do all kinds of things that are out of his control.....that's one of the things I like about him.  :) 

So I'd like to end with the #s and I doing our snow song.  We had a fabulous time putting this together...I mean, it's nothing professional, but it's fun....and hilarious!  #2 did say that he won't do this again if we pick a "Frozen" song....

.....hope you enjoy our show....from our life by numbers!  

A Long Time Ago, A Few Decades Away....

A long time ago, a few decades away there was a cute, little freckle faced girl who wanted to be in the band.  Her parents were very supportive as they knew she found her love for music.  This wasn't surprising to her parents as this precious little girl would sing and dance in her room for hours.  So the day came for this little girl to sign up to play an instrument.  Her band directors had picked her to play the clarinet, but the mom of this little girl wasn't too excited about that (and honestly, neither was the little girl) so she was changed to play the flute.  This girl wasn't too bad of a player when it came to the flute and she played all throughout her junior high school years.  

High school band camp came in August of 1991 and this young girl was very nervous.  During band camp, this musical girl marched more than she could have ever imagined and drank more water than she had her entire life.  "Go back to picture number 1" was said over and over.  There was minimal talking from the members of the band, but lots of discussions between the directors and the assistants.  

There was one specific meeting of the minds that changed this little flute player's life.....

Band Director:  Alright folks.....take a break, but I need you all to think about something....I need four people.  Four people that would like to switch from their instruments to the drum line.  

.....this little girl thought a minute....how cool would it be to do something different?  The drum line....I mean, a girl in the drum line on the field would be so amazing!  The girl thought and thought.  And during the break, she walked boldly up to the band director.....

Girl:  Mr. Simpson, Mr. Hale...I volunteer to be in the drum line.

Mr. Simpson:  Well....you're mother is going to kill me.....but I'll take you...just let me do the talking when we get back from camp.

Girl:  Yes sir!  

....at that moment, that short little flute player put her flute aside and joined the drum line.....a place where she would be for three years until she eventually became one of the field commanders of that 300+ band.  A place where she would have friends that would stick up for her during some crazy, fun, dark, and scary times.  A place where she would have friends that would tick her off for making fun of her for playing cymbals, but then be proud of her for being one of the shortest people to make field commander.  :)  A place where she felt like family.  A place where she learned to stick up for herself and cry in front of them.  Being a cymbal player changed her life.  It was a place where we got to hang out with people that she never would have in a million years....but looking back, it's where God wanted her.  

After the little girl got home from band camp.....

Mr. Simpson:  Jody, I just wanted to let you know that your daughter is going to be playing cymbals...

....there's not much this former flute player remembers of this conversation except questions that her mother asked such as "will she ever play flute again" and "are you sure she needs to play this" and "I can't believe she didn't ask" and "do you really need another cymbal player".  But the mother eventually came around after a very silent car ride home.  The mother and father were both very pleased that the current cymbal player would play the flute during the concert season and that the flute would be the instrument that would be used for competition.  Little did they know that the girl would also be involved in the winter drum line and so competition on her flute actually never happened.  

Let's fast forward 25 years.....our family of five is sitting around the dinner table Tuesday night....

#1:  Speaking of trombone....they are really overrated. 

Me:  What?????

#1:  Well, I think I should be a tuba player.

Me:  What?????

#1:  I actually played the tuba today and Mr. B said I did well.  I'm thinking I want to play that instead of trombone.

Me:  Ummmmm....what?????

#1:  I just want to try something different.  I like the trombone, but I got the low, middle and high notes to play on a tuba.  He's going to pick two people and I really want to be one of those people.

Me:  What?????

......Hubby started to clean up the table with #2 and #3 while the rush of my past came back to my mind.  Now I know how my mother felt when I told her I had switched to cymbals from flute.  Has #1 already switched like I did or is he honestly asking for permission (and then I thought maybe I should have done that).  Then I flashed back to how the drum line was with the tuba section a lot.  And then I remembered, the crude jokes, the farting noises, and the conversations that the tuba players had with the drummers.  Don't get me wrong, I'm friends with some of these people today and they would very much say that is the exact things they talked about.  What was #1 going to become!!??!?!  Why can't I remember the trombone section in high school??!?!??  Were they the innocent ones??!?!?  Did I want #1 to stay with the trombones because I can't remember how they were or do I want him to go to the tuba because I know exactly how they were and can keep an eye on him??!?!?!?  Can I just be an assistant band director even though I don't have my instrumental certificate just so I can keep an eye on #1 if he moves to tuba?!?!?!?  

And then the words came out of my mouth....I saw them in the air as they escaped my lips....words I never thought in a million years that I would say....

Me:  It's your decision.

....what the heck was I saying?!?!!?  Of course this wasn't his decision.  I've been paying $35 a month on this trombone.  I've been paying $20 a week for private lessons.  Take those words back woman.....TAKE THEM BACK.....

#1:  Really Mom?

Me:  Yes, really.  

#1:  Then I want to tell Mr. B that I want to audition to play tuba.  

And then two days later I get this text.....ten minutes before school ends so I know that #1 is on the bus headed to my school....

.....I then see #1 in the hallway....beaming from ear to ear.  He runs up to me and hugs me....

#1:  Thank you so much Mom!  I got picked to play tuba!  I am so excited!  I start on Monday and Mr. B is going to teach me.  Oh...and Mr. B told me that you might be angry...but you won't stay angry for long.  

Me:  Thanks.....I owe Mr. B.  I owe him big.  

#1:  Yeah!  He's letting me switch to tuba!  

.....and I saw the joy in his face and I remembered the joy I had when I switched to a different instrument.  I don't know why it's such a big deal to switch.  I can't explain the feeling that you get when you know an instrument and then switch to another instrument and start to learn that one.  I can't describe the heart or mind of a musician that wants to learn more.  I never thought I was a quitter when I went from flute to cymbals....and honestly, I don't consider #1 a quitter either.  I actually think he's more like me than I thought and to know that he loves music warms my heart more than you could know.  

So as I sit here and reminisce about how I went from flute to cymbals and now #1 going from trombone to tuba, it also made me remember the great friends I made, the wonderful memories I have, the hard work I went through, the tears, the laughter, the trophies and the disappointments, and all the yelling that I endured through band camp, percussion camp, Friday night football games, Saturday contests, and just being a proud Franklin Rebel back in the '90s.  

I remember the man that told me over and over not to become a band director......

Mr. Simpson:  It's thankless work and little pay....and you're too short. 

Me:  I can't imagine doing anything else with my life other than music. 

Mr.  Simpson:  You don't need to go into music.  People will eat you alive.

Me:  They'll have to eat me alive....cuz I'm going to be a music teacher.  I'll work the hours, I'll take the pay.  I want to teach kids music so I can pass on the gift that you gave me.  I love music and can't imagine my life without it.  And there's nothing I can do about my height....

Mr.  Simpson:  Kid, you've got the passion....and you'll do just fine.  

....I had many conversations my junior and senior high school years with this guy.  And as I look back, I don't think he was talking me out of it, I think he was preparing me.....not just for music, but for life with music, life as a musician.   And I pray that #1 enjoys the tuba and gets as much out of music as I have gotten in our life by numbers.  

Mornings

I want you to imagine what our house is like as we get ready for school in the morning....every morning....every morning all year long.....

5:40am:  A noise like a bullhorn is screaming from the table beside me.  I fish around for my phone which makes this bullhorn noise.  I find the blue button and push it.  I've had my phone for a while, but I still don't know what exactly the blue words say, I'm going to assume it says "snooze", but I'm never awake enough to read it...but I know that if I push the words, the pounding sound will go away...for the next ten minutes.

5:50am:  The pounding comes back.  I push the blue button again and end up opening the phone.  The brightness blinds my eyes, but I adjust quickly because I know now that I have exactly an hour to walk out of the door to take #1 to school.

5:52am:  I throw my foot out from under the heated blanket.  It's gonna be a cold morning.  I'm not ready for it....but I have 58 minutes left.  Goodbye heated blanket....I promise I'll be in bed earlier tonight so I can spend more time with you.....I know, it's an empty promise.

5:55am:  Shower time....my feet are freezing.  I look around the tub and I see what looks to be ten bottles all over the tub.  Why are there so many bottles!?!?!?  And why are there so many of the same bottles?  And why are they upside down?  I start picking up bottles....they are heavy.  I open the tops and freezing cold water comes out of them.  Nice.  I realize I don't have time for this so I look through my three different shampoos and pick the one to use for the morning.

6:20am:  Yes.....I take a 25 minute shower....and a warm shower at that.  I don't like cold, but I can't handle hot water...so lukewarm water it is.  Hubby has brought me a towel...how sweet is that?  He brings me one every morning.  I'm pretty sure he does this now because I used to say "HUBBYYYYY.......I NEED A TOWELLLLLLLLL" every morning.....I think bringing me one before I start yelling is much easier on him.

6:22am:  I'm getting ready and then #1 jumps in the shower.  #2 is now rushing around getting dressed, getting toothbrushes ready, putting on deodorant, and then starts playing basketball.  I'm pretty sure that's our fault since we have a basketball on the front door.  But #2 loves to play and will get ready so fast just so he has time to play.  And then we have #3......

#3 might be THE slowest person to ever get ready.  First of all, this kid is still eating even after #2 is playing basketball.  I don't know how difficult it is to eat a poptart or oatmeal or cereal, but it takes him forever.  I mean, we don't have the tv on or anything.....he is literally eating in silence.  Complete silence.

Then he sneaks up and gives me a hug and screams "RULE NUMBER ONE.....CHECK".  Yes, apparently hugging me is a rule that he made up a few years ago.  He does this every morning and I really don't know why....but I'm so glad that at least I'm rule number one and not number five!  :)

After he sneaks up on me, he goes back to breakfast.  Not kidding.  Do his teeth just not chew the food to make it swallowable?  Can his throat just not handle a normal amount of food to go down to his stomach?  He is the child that actually shakes the food down to his toes and he's secretly eating four times the amount of food we give him?  Is he hiding food?  WHAT TAKES HIM 40  MINUTES TO EAT!?!??!?!?

Next thing I know, #3 comes into the bathroom and he starts playing with a sword.  He's waving this sword around like he fencing with a ghost.  Seriously child, you are still in your underwear and we are trying to leave.  After numerous times to get his attention, he throws the sword into his imaginary friend, wins the battle and heads to pee.

During this pee break, he wants to carry on a conversation with me.....as I'm flossing and brushing my teeth.  Sometimes this conversation is about a dream he had, sometimes it's about who he was fighting with the sword, sometimes it's about why he thinks his pee is more yellow in the morning, sometimes it's about something that happened four years ago, and sometimes it's absolute gibberish.

Then #3 proceeds to leap to the guest bathroom so he can brush his teeth.  He used to just suck on the toothbrush, so Hubby told him that the toothpaste should not come out of his mouth as a toothpaste clump.....so #3 started brushing those teeth a whole lot better.  We also decided to buy him one of those overpriced toothbrushes that light up so he knows when to start and stop brushing.  You know the ones....they cost anywhere from $3.49 and up and I'm sure it will stop lighting up after three weeks.  Anyhoo....now he brushes his teeth until it gets to the orange light and then he'll just suck on the toothbrush and move the handle around so he looks like he's brushing.  You ain't foolin' me kid....but I'm not fighting that battle right now....at least the toothpaste doesn't come out in clumps.
After #3 brushes his teeth, he goes into our room because he shares a closet with Hubby.

Now we are at the point where I'm trying to get dressed and rush #1 who says he's ready, but really he doesn't have socks on, doesn't have his phone, and can't find a shoe.  We're also at the point of our morning where #1 decides he'd like to know the the schedule starting at 3pm.  As #1 is finding his stuff and asking a ton of questions, we still hear the thud of the basketball going on in the hallway.  I'm sure at this point, four out of five mornings, I say something like "if you bounce that ball one more time while I'm trying to talk to your brothers, I am going to grab that ball and throw it away and you'll be grounded for the rest of your life from playing ball".  I didn't say I had a lot of sense in the morning....that usually comes around 7:30am for me.

Between #1 asking questions and #2 playing basketball, #3 has decided to join in the fun by yelling "DADDDDDYYYYYYYY" over and over like he needs some help.  He doesn't need help.  In fact, he is lying in our bed, under the covers and he's waiting for Hubby to help him find his clothes for the day.  I don't know how Hubby got this great job, but he's been doing it for a while now.  The thing is, if #3 doesn't like it, he won't wear it, so I really think that #3 just wants to stay in bed while a servant comes to show him clothes and #3 will decide from there.  Today he wore athletic pants with a strip down the sides with a plaid shirt.  See....it doesn't matter that Hubby is there to help him match, #3 is still picking out his own clothes.

6:52am:  Yes, we are two minutes late.  I am grabbing my lunch from the counter....cuz my Hubby is so sweet to make it for me every day....and I'm yelling things like:
"Don't be in the gym when I get to school this afternoon"
"Are you not going to give me a hug"
"Don't forget your backpack"
"I love you"
"Put your lunchbox in your backpack"
"We have (insert what we have to do that afternoon) so don't make us late"
"Do not pout because I told you to put the ball up....what if I die today....don't you think you should tell me you love me".....I didn't say I was proud of everything I say, this is just what comes out.

6:55am:  We are in the car backing up in the driveway to leave and waving at whoever is still at the house....sometimes I have all the #s so we're all waving at Hubby and sometimes it's just #1 and me.

6:56am:  Someone is praying.  Yeah, we have to pray to get through our day.  Sometimes the prayers sound like:
"Please let today go fast cuz I want to be home"
"Thanks for the morning, but can it come a little later"
"Thank you for the sun, but it's in my face"
"Please be with the people I see cuz they need Jesus"
......and then #s pray too!  :)



And to top the day off, our nighttime routine is pretty much the same every night too:
8:45pm:  It's time to get ready for bed.
9pm:  Crap.....we're not in bed.
9:03pm:  We're doing our Bible study with the #s.
9:10pm:  #2 wants to hold hands and pray and #1 doesn't like to hold hands so there's a huge fight about not knowing where #2's hands have been and #2 starts playing with his feet just to tick #1 off cuz he knows I'm going to make him hold hands just cuz he's made just a big deal about not holding #2's hand.
9:15pm:  Fight with #2 and #3 about going to their room to sleep.  Hubby gives them a piggy back ride and they are yelling "I love you Mommy....please let me sleep with you" as they go to their room.
9:20pm:  I set that alarm....waiting for the screaming blue words to wake me up the next morning in our life by numbers!

24 Hours of Eye Dilation

Those are some dilated eyes.....and this was just 20 minutes after the dilation!  As most of you know from the last post, I had to have my eyes dilated this past Friday.  As we headed to the eye doctor, #3 fell asleep....so Hubby stayed in the car with #1 and #3 (#2 was with a friend).  I told Hubby that I would text him when I was going back so he could come in the waiting room.  I wasn't really thinking I needed someone to walk me out...but I knew I wasn't going to be able to drive.  

I walked into this place and every chair....EVERY chair....has been taken.  I walk to the desk.....

Me:  I have a 5pm appointment.

Lady:  You do?

Me:  Yes.

Lady:  What time?

Me:  5pm.

Lady:  Let me see if I've got your paperwork from the other office.

Me:  Okay....will you please make sure that they sent the prescription from the last exam?

Lady:  I have nothing. 

Me:  Nothing?

Lady:  Not even your paperwork...are you sure you have an appointment at 5pm?

Me:  Do you have me on the schedule?

Lady:  Let me see....yes...at 5pm.

......I mean, seriously?!!??!  After all of this, she finds the paperwork, the prescription and confirms my appointment.  I am now told to have a seat.  Well, there is no seat so I just stand around.  As one family leaves, I go to their seats and there is liquid on the seats....on the back of the seats.   Please don't make me sit in this waiting room much longer....what am I thinking?  Please don't make me STAND in this waiting room any longer.  

A few minutes later, I was called back to read the board of letters...with and without my glasses.  Then this lady put a drop of something in both eyes and then got another bottle and put a drop of that in both eyes.  She then tells me to sit in this dark room.  

Well, the room isn't really dark.  It's more like a room off of the hallway, but with no door.  The hallway lights are still on, but the room lights are set on dim.  As I'm sitting here, my eyes are getting a tad bit blurry and I'm trying to text Hubby to let him know that my eyes are getting blurry.  I don't see a huge difference in my vision because I have my glasses off, but I know that things are looking a little bit different.  

And then this lady sits beside me.  Yes, I'm fortunate enough to have a chair between us (cuz you know I still like my bubble), but it's still a little close.  This lady has got a toothpick hanging out of her mouth which doesn't really bother me, but trust me, it's part of this story.  As we're sitting there in complete silence, I hear "pppthhhhhhhk".  I hear this over and over.  I know the sound is coming from my left, but I'm sure it's one of those eye machines by the wall.  This sound gets louder and louder and the sound gets more annoying.  I finally look over to the left and it's the lady picking her teeth with that toothpick.  I see the spit coming from her mouth, the stuff coming out of her teeth, the heavy breathing of her working on her gums.  As I'm sitting there, I feel the blurriness getting worse and the room is getting hot.  I feel that I'm getting claustrophobic in this room....even with there being no door.  At this point, I can't see my phone, I can't see the clock and I can't make out what the lady looks like....but I can hear her.  Oh my goodness, I can hear her.  

I hear footsteps....

Lady:  I've been waiting here for way too long.

Doctor:  Kelley, let me check her eyes real quick.

Me:  YES!!!!  Take her!  Take her away!!!!  She can go first!!!!!

.....I have no clue what their faces looked like, but I could feel the relief throughout my body.  I sat in silence for the next five minutes.  Silence.  

The rest of the night wasn't nearly exciting.  We went to dinner and Hubby and the #s kept reading the menu to me...and loudly.  I finally told Hubby that he needs to keep it down because people are going to think I can't read.  

Waitress:  What would you like to eat?

Me:  Fresh Fruit Sampler

Waitress:  (friendly and loudly) Well, it's really called....

Me:  My eyes are dilated and I can't read the menu.  

I did wake up Saturday and my eyes were still dilated, so I decided to call the doctor....

Me:  How long is the dilation supposed to last?

Office:  A couple of hours.

Me:  I had my eyes dilated yesterday and they are still blurry.

Office:  What time did you have them dilated?

Me:  5pm.

Office:  OH!  Hold on just a moment and let me talk to the doctor.......yes, the doctor said have someone shine a light in your eyes.  If your eyes contract, the dilation is wearing off.

Me:  And if they don't contract?

Office:  Then it isn't wearing off yet and you have a couple more hours left.

....and no, they didn't contract.  In fact, the dilation didn't completely wear off until around 5pm Saturday.  That's a full 12 hours of blurry eyes.  That's 12 hours of the sun making it feel like it's trying to scratch my eyes out.  Needless to say, it was a blurry 24 hours in our life by numbers.  

Sleep Walking

Hello friends and welcome to 2016....seven days late.  I mean, I'm late in writing, but at least I haven't written 2015 on anything...yet...though I do most things on the computer and it's already in there for me.

Our New Year's Day was fabulous.  We were invited to come eat at a friend's house and we had a blast!  Isn't it funny how you see people in one light and think "wonder what they're really like"....and they're the same?!??!!?  I hope people realize that we're the same no matter where we go.  I can't even imagine what our life group thought about us before...during...and after the first time they came over. I mean....I wonder what they think of us now?!?!?!?  Back to my point.....it was a really fun time with our friends and new people!

Anyhoo....it's been a whirlwind getting back into the groove of things.  I'm pretty sure that the #s and I sat on the couch with Hubby as we pouted, whined, and cried about going back to school.  We got absolutely zero sympathy (maybe cuz Hubby worked throughout the break) but the #s and I bonded as we had a common bond....not ready to go back to school.  I mean, I love what I do....but I also love sleeping late and taking my time to eat....and peeing whenever I actually need to!  :-)

So #2 has this really weird habit of being memorized by commercials....but he doesn't quite understand that the "free" thing these companies offer actually only come IF you order the product.  We went through this tonight with an oxygen take that you can carry.  Yes.  I'm serious.......
#2:  If you order it now, we get free shipping!!  That's FREE shipping!!!!!
Me:  Do you realize what they are going to ship to you?
#2:  Ummm....oh...oxygen....
Me:  Do we really need an oxygen tank???
#2:  Guess we don't need that????  Even though it's free shipping?
Me:  No....we don't need an oxygen tank....we can breath just fine.  
.....I've got to watch this kid during commercials...what if he starts ordering!??!!?!?  He already reminds me of a 80 year old man just sitting around ordering from QVC....cuz he gets something free!


We also had a little issue with #3 about marrying me.  He has in his head that he needs to marry me.  He doesn't know the word "divorce" so he uses the word "unmarry"....
#3:  Will you please unmarry Daddy and marry me?
Me:  No baby...I like being married to Daddy.
....#3 proceeds to jump up to hug me and grabs my neck and hangs on.....
#3:  LOOK!  Now you're married to me AND Daddy!
Me:  Honey, get off my neck!
#3:  Hey....we're married now...you're not the boss of me!!!!
Hubby:  You obviously don't understand this married thing.
.....I didn't know if I should be mad at #3 about him saying I wasn't the boss of him or Hubby for his smart aleck-ness....but I'm pretty sure I should be mad about something and at someone.


#1 has started P.E. class at the junior high school.  He's been crazy excited about trying it cuz he keeps telling us he wants to work on his abs....if he even knows what abs are.  He came home yesterday and he was so over P.E. class....
#1:  So picture this....I'm in the middle of gym class and I'm doing squats...I go down slowly like I'm supposed to and BAM....I farted.  Farted doing a squat.  Farted in gym class.  And THAT is why I don't like sports.
....I needed the laugh that came afterwards.  #1 just looked at me.  I couldn't help it.  I mean, his face was so innocent, his voice is changing, he is so into his story....and I just lost it.  I'm sure I lost big "mom points" over that one....but it was so funny!


Last night at 1am I got up to pee......that's not really funny......unless you want to make fun of a 38 year old woman that has to get up every night to pee....anyway....I got up to pee.  I'm washing my hands and I see #1 walking down the hallway....
Me:  What are you doing?
#1:  Sleeping.
Me:  Seriously.....what are you doing?
#1:  I'm sleeping.
Me:  Do you need to use the bathroom?
#1:  No, I'm sleeping.
Me:  What are you doing right now?
#1:  I'm sleeping?
Me:  Do you need a drink?
#1:  No.
Me:  Are you scared?
#1:  No.  
Me:  Did something wake you?
#1:  No.
Me:  Let's take you back to bed.
#1:  Okay
......so I take him back to bed and tuck him in....
Me:  Do you want the blue light off?
#1:  No.
Me:  Goodnight.  Love you (and I kissed him on his forehead)
#1:  Love you too.
....and off to bed he went.  I KNEW he was asleep when he didn't wipe off my kiss.  He hates to be kissed and I knew that would be the test if he was sleep walking or not....and apparently he was.  I was then up for the next 45 minutes just to make sure he doesn't sleep walk out the door.  Isn't it funny what life throws at us?


Tomorrow is the big day....I get my eyes dilated.  Apparently this needs to happen cuz my eyes are having so many muscle spasms that my vision prescription changes all the time.  My doc kept on saying "are you SURE that this looks better than the last one".  I'm thinking he was a tad bit frustrated.  He kept asking me all these questions....
Doc:  I'm guessing you're grading lots of papers?
Me:  No.
Doc:  I'm guessing you have to put grades in the computer a lot?
Me:  No.
Doc:  I'm guessing you have to help children with technology assignments?
Me:  No.
Doc:  What exactly do you do as a teacher?
Me:  I teach children music.
Doc:  Oh.
.....yes friends....no papers to grades, no grades to input.....I've just got crazy eyes.  So he said that I needed to have my eyes dilated so he could look and see what the prescription is and see what's going on and "hopefully" have one of my eye pains and blurriness while I'm there.  Funny.....I don't ever "hope" for an eye pain or blurriness, but I guess that's a kick in his job.  We scheduled the dilation for tomorrow and I have to have someone take me home.....
Doc:  Make sure you bring someone with you on Friday.
Me:  I sure will.
Doc:  Because your eyes will be dilated.
Me:  Yes, I'll bring someone.
Doc:  And your eye spasms are so bad that you really don't need to be driving with them dilated.
.....yes, I get it.....I'm going downhill fast.  I've got the bladder of a 60 year old woman and the eyesight of a rhinoceros.  Yes, I had to look that up (and I bet some of you will too...just to check up on me).  Have a blessed week....from our life by numbers!

Big Fat Chin....AND IT'S FREE!!!!

I mean, we know how to end 2015 with a bang....or a wave, I should say!  Yes, that is a lot of water all over our kitchen floor....it was a nice way to wake up this morning, huh?  I mean, there is nothing like being all warm and toasty from your heated blanket to walk into the hallway and you now have wet socks on and you're not quite sure what you stepped in, but you know that it's highly unusual (even for our family) to have water all over the floor.  

Apparently our fridge valve popped and water went everywhere.  By the time I saw it, Hubby had towels everywhere and water was still into our dining room and hallway.  I kept thinking "you couldn't just leave peacefully could you 2015???"....

Me:  Did you see this water when you took out the dog?

Hubby:  No.

Me:  Did you not see it when you just got a towel to take a shower?

Hubby:  No....I didn't go in the kitchen to get a towel.

Me:  So do you not know how long this has been here.

Hubby:  No.  Wanna grab more towels????

....apparently I was asking too many questions while our current towels had soaked up as much water as they could possibly hold.  And as I brought more towels and blankets to soak up the water....

#2:  That's my blanket.

#3:  I'm cold, can you keep that blanket?

Me:  I'm not using your underwear to clean up the water....

#2:  But I'm cold.  

....this is coming from two #s that sleep with no shirt on and only have pants on cuz I make them.  GET SOME CLOTHES ON #S!!!!!!

So with all the water that we had, we used all of our towels and most of our blankets...and I found out that I probably need to clean from under and behind our appliances a little more often.  I mean, I was just talking to a friend on Christmas Eve after her kiddo's cars went too close to the stove that he might not want that car back if it got under there because something might bite him.  And here we are....December 31st and we are cleaning out from behind and under the fridge.  Nice 2015.  Nice.  

The amazing thing is that God gave me a husband that can fix this sort of stuff.  He just gets all dirty and disgusting and fixes it all.  He was so frustrated cuz he was supposed to go see Star Wars (again) with some friends and had to cancel, but he did a great job fixing our fridge, the pipe, the floors....and whatever else was involved.  It's amazing to me cuz I was ready to get rid of the fridge thinking that it wasn't cold enough....

Hubby:  That has nothing to do with this....and it's always at that temperature.  

....apparently I just go completely crazy when things like appliances and house stuff go crazy! 

We've had a really spectacular week.  We went to a fabulous germ infested fun center on Monday with some friends.  I absolutely LOVE these friends and sometimes I think they take me to these places to see if I'll just explode from the lack of hand sanitizer!  :-)  We had a blast bowling, playing games, playing glow in the dark putt putt, skating...just a TON of fun!  As soon as we walked in, my friend says "so....what do you think of the smell" and starts laughing.  We did end up leaving and going to eat before we came back to bowl.  Pizza is a great way to feed all of us, so we went to a pizza place.  And let me tell you....the tables were so sticky that we just looked at each other and put our arms in our laps.....at least it will teach us manners, right?  ha ha!!

While we were bowling, #3 comes to me and whispers....

#3:  Guess what I'm gonna do.

Me:  What?

#3:  I'm gonna step over the line before I throw my bowling ball.

Me:  That's against the rules.

#3:  I know (insert evil laugh from a seven year old)

....I always thought #2 would be my rebellious child.  I stand corrected.  

Tuesday night, Hubby and #2 had a "Daddy Date Night".  It was so sweet cuz they were going to do one thing, but then a friend invited them to watch a basketball game in the box seats they were given. #2 dropped EVERYTHING he had planned and said YES to the basketball game.  

Since they had something to do, #1, #3 and I picked up dinner and headed home.  On the way home, they were talking about making a tv show and putting it on the air when they get older.  They had all kinds of ideas, but the one they agreed on was a tv show about a mom and her family....and the mom just happens to be married and have three boys.  So when we get home, they are still talking about this tv show, but now they're writing the lyrics to the theme song.  Nothing pleases me more than seeing my #s not only get along, but they are also writing music together.....until.....

#1:  ....And his mother has a big fat chin!

#3:  I love it!

Me:  I'm pretty sure I don't like you talking about me like that.  

#3:  Oh we weren't talking about you.  Our tv show has a rich mother....you're quite poor.  

...and just like that...my hopes...my dreams....all busted.  

So after all this excitement this week....and today....we stayed at home and chilled.  I don't like driving around on New Year's Eve and I've become quite the homebody lately.  We cleaned out the laundry room, watched tv, played video games.....all the things we should do on the last day of the year.  Then I hear #2 yelling at the top of his lungs "MOMMY" and finally he ran into the den.....

#2:  MOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!  HURRY!!!!!  COME HERE!!!!!!

.....thinking something is dead or about to be, I run into my bedroom where #2 has decided to watch tv.....

Me:  WHAT!?!?!?!?!?  What is wrong?!??!?!  Who's dying?!?!?!!?!?  What's going on?!?!?!?

#2:  IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 6 MINUTES, YOU GET THAT BRUSH FOR YOUR FACE.......FOR FREE!!!!!

Me:  Are you kidding me?

#2:  NOOOOOO!!!!!  

Me:  You brought me in for a free face brush?

#2:  You're got to order it.....NOW!!!!

Me:  Honey, you realize that you've got to buy the other stuff they're selling in order to get the face brush free?

#2:  Who cares....they're giving away something free....WE LIKE FREE!!!!

......I mean, I'm thinking that I need to explain how a "deal" actually works in our life by numbers!?!?!??!